Making Sense Of The World With Words

Whenever I am asked about why I write, I always say that it is my way of making sense of the world inside me.

The world inside me is pretty chaotic and loud, and writing is my method of taming the chaos, and silencing the noise. I am more inclined into writing poetry and thought pieces because I can express myself well through it. By sharing these stories, I am able to express all the things that I cannot say out loud.

Poetry Between the Lines – my story that was featured in the Fall 2017 issue of ‘The Storyteller’ here at Launchora – comprises of 6 self-made poems about love, life, and everything in between. They are the product of all the chaos and unsaid feelings. They were the outcome of heartaches, confusions, and realizations about life, and about me.

It actually took a while for me to decide if I should include the ‘sad’ poems, because I am scared. You see, my poems are a part of me, they’re like puzzle pieces about me; each poem holds a chunk on who I am, and sharing it to the world is fine, but what scares me is that people who know me personally might be able to see it, and I always feel naked whenever that happens. It feels like I’m lowering my walls, making myself vulnerable. It is an uncomfortable feeling. The last time I shared one of my poems, I was teased by my friends, who pried on what the poem was about, and more specifically—who they’re about. And I don’t want that. I just wanted to express my thoughts, write sad poems without having to explain. My poems are very private. So I was torn. Do I reveal myself, my true self, to strangers and friends ,no matter the cost?

So then I thought of my dream—of becoming a writer. I realized that I couldn’t grow if I continued living in my comfort zone, hiding behind my insecurities. I realized that my dream is greater than my insecurity, and that I should at least try.

And what I’ve learned along the way is that it takes a lot of twists and turns to get to know myself. I learned that even if there are be times when I am confronted with challenges that scare me, that will make me question my capability and worth, I still have the ability of making myself feel better. I may have self-defeating thoughts sometimes, but I am also capable of battling them.

I realized that the motivational pieces that I wrote were actually a message for myself. I also learned that I am a very emotional person and that is probably why I write, because I can’t keep my emotions to myself. I found a home in writing, an outlet where I can channel my emotions without judgements. I am still in the process of getting to know myself more, I have not yet completely figured out who I am, but one thing’s for sure—I’m on my way.

The very first poems that inspired me were Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 – a very powerful poem that defined love – and Edgar Guest’s Don’t Quit – about not giving up. And ever since, I have always been fascinated with the beauty of poetry. It amazes me how the play of words can play on my emotions. It is amazing how we can channel our pain into something and create something beautiful. And I eventually loved writing poems because it gives me the element of mystery, like I am expressing my emotions without revealing too much.

Poetry has the ability to express in such less words, and I love the idea that it gives me the freedom to imagine and interpret. I fell in love with the fact that people ages ago used to make poems for their loved ones, or to gain the love of someone they adore. Isn’t that romantic? For me, a hand-written poem is better than a thousand roses.

I also write because I want to motivate people to keep going, that no matter how bad life is today or how lost we think we are, it’ll get better and we’ll eventually find our own paths someday. I want people to know that they are not alone in whatever their battling with, that someone understands them, and that better days are coming. Writing is an art form, capable of helping people. While some express their emotions through music, painting, or through other ways, some people, like us, turn to writing. For me, the purpose of a creative person is to just remain creative and share it to the world because it is also our duty to use that creativity to inspire, and I believe that art is capable of doing that.

So when I write, I don’t focus on the technicality at first. Initially, I’d write freely without thinking of any grammatical rule and structure. The title comes last, I’ll decide on it after I am done restructuring. My emotions fuel my need to write. So I let all the thoughts inside my head flow first. I let my emotions and my feelings at the moment do the work, then I write everything down, and restructure it after.

But then there are times when I’m really overwhelmed with emotions, and can’t find the right words for it. It has been my habit to write immediately when faced with certain emotions and feelings, so it is really exasperating to want to write but to be unable to because every word that I write doesn’t feel right. That no matter how I revise it, it still looks plain. It didn’t have the ‘feeling’.

It is during this frustration that self-doubt comes in. Questions like—

Why can’t I find the right words?

Am I not that good enough?

Can I actually make a good piece?

These would dwell in my head, and they would not make me feel good at all. That is why when I am in this situation, I would stop momentarily and rest. I would rest my mind first, sleep on it, relax, and re-motivate myself. Because usually, when I do that, random thoughts would just pop out of nowhere. And when those ideas come, I scribble them on my tiny thought journal.

So, if you are just getting started as writer. I have three points for you—

Keep on writing.

We all have our own reasons for why we write. So whatever your reason is, as long as it inspires you, go for it. When you’re sad or happy, write. Just keep on writing, because along the way, you’ll eventually realize your style and inclination. You’ll learn, and you’ll grow if you also allow yourself to.

Love what you are doing.

Cliché as it may seem, but this phrase is true. Don’t frustrate yourself on wanting to be big immediately. When you write, don’t think about how it should get published or how many people will read it, write from the heart. Love what you’re doing, and love life no matter how painful it could be sometimes. Because this life is what gave you these stories to tell.

Write to inspire.

You may not realize it, but words are very powerful. It could make or break a person—so I hope you’ll choose the former. With our emotions, we may sometimes write painful, angry, vengeful pieces, and that’s fine. But I hope that along with that, you’ll also write positive and motivating pieces.

And if you’re interested in poetry, here’s another three points for you—

Do not stress on rhymes

If you think writing poetry is restricting because of rhymes, you are wrong. The world has evolved, and so has poetry. Do not feel obligated to rhyme, rhyme do not make poetry. Focus on the meaning.

Choose your words

In poetry, the words that you will use are very important because they will determine the weight of emotions that you want your readers to feel—use metaphors, use idioms, and be creative in expressing them.

Learn and Experiment

Read poetries by others, learn their styles. Learn the rules of poetry. And here’s a little secret—you can break them! Well, not really break, but you can modify. If there is a particular rule that you do not like, be bold to experiment.

I am not an expert yet, but I always strive to be better. And besides, writing is not about who is the better writer. Just like life, writing is a competition between who you were, who you are, and who you could become.

I write because I feel like I’m being listened to. So if you are passionate about writing but have doubts about yourself, shake it off, try. Write, because it is definitely fun and it feels good to know that your words are reaching people.

So, my dear reader, believe in yourself, and start writing now! This is your go signal.