There were times when I'd woke up and all that lingers in my senses was you. It was more than a dream came true, though the probability of succeeding in a two-different-world kind of relationship was elusive and the gap of hope was far beyond the visible outline of the horizon.
I thought that was the most dreadful, and painful truth; that no matter how loud my heart shouted your name, still I can't have you. Simply because we belong in a different world though we're in the same universe but the chance to collide was zero.
Yes, I was wrong again. Yes they say "the truth will set us free" but they forgot to say that the truth could hurt us more than what we expected. It's after the truth came out that our heart will bleed endlessly as if all the veins were cut off from the heart. It's after that, that we'll soon realize how stupid and foolish we had been just because we fell in love. And the worst thing is I soon learn not to trust anyone and it's bluer to think that I can't trust even my own vulnerable heart.
I was content to lay down the burden; it is time to leave that behind although the healing will take long. Slowly, in the silence, I recovered. There, I could mourn not for the ruin of my hopes and the wrecked pieces of my heart --- I could see now what madness they had been --- but for the brief and bitter summer our love.
There were times when I wondered if I should mourn all my life and never be free of it again; but at last I could remember without weeping the days of our love, without unending sorrow welling up in the very depth of my being.
Nothing is painful than the memory of love and the knowledge that it is gone forever. I never saw his face again though I long for it. I came to see that it is good enough, unless I live the rest of my life in dreams. But at last, there were times when I could look back and know that the season for mourning has ended.
I lived and now I'm floating in a vast and nameless meadow of peace, knowing only serenity and it's now my task to survive --- with a smile. ☺
-turningBlind
written 2015