I don’t know why I’m writing this letter knowing there’s one in a million chance you can read this but i feel this is worth a try. Let me make it clear, I’m no longer thinking of you, not for the longest time. Not until you keep coming in my sleep. I always dream of you and I don’t understand why but my dreams have its own way of hurting me and the only thing I can do to get over it, is going through it again for the last time. Details by details, laughter to pain, joy to heartbreak until nothings left to remember.
Meeting you was never my choice, neither yours but to whatever reason it is I can’t regret my decision of letting you take a piece of my heart.
I was so young then, innocent, happy and free. Oblivion to the idea of loving someone, with one shift in circumstances, we met. Indeed, life is a bit of a loose cannon.
I am a total stranger to you but you’re not to me. Long before you heard my name, I already know you. You are the boy in my friend stories, the one that they always see playing with his dog inside the gate because his not allowed to go out. You are the boy that I liked because of what I heard about you. Yes, you read it right, I had liked you before I got the chance to see. Weird it seems but don’t ask me why. Never did I think of meeting you intentionally or by chance, but fate plays a good game. One day you’re standing in my classroom door, I had no idea it was you until I heard your name. You sat beside me and I was caught off guard. I feel like everything froze for a moment for me to comprehend that you’re no longer in my thought because you are now in my side. And then things happened so fast, from that deafening silence on our first met to never ending conversations and late at night talks. I’m not sure how it happened and I’m too happy to question.
We got along so fine, we became best of friends and we always got each other’s back without letting you know how much I like you and without me knowing that you eventually learned to like me too. Until such time where feelings are too strong to be tamed so you spilled the beans. My heart skipped a beat when you said those lovely words that echoed in my body giving me butterfly in my stomach. It was a close-to-heaven feeling. Who am I to reject your affection? Six long months you patiently waited before I finally had the courage to be more than just a good friend. What we had is almost perfect. I almost think we will grow old together but we are not an exception to the twist and turns of life. It was summer of our best year when you told me you’re about to leave for your own good and for a greener pasture. How can I ever go against it? We have plans for each other but for now you have to work it out on your own. I was unprepared. I was so scared but the next thing I know is that we’re fighting the distance between us. In the beginning everything was so smooth, but as it goes longer it went harder. In the long run you gave up. Our love is not enough to bridge the gap and more than being mad I can only understand you for this is the first time you did something for yourself. Our story reached its end and it was devastating. Without saying the deepest reason why, you let me go. As much as wanting to hold you back, I grant you your freedom. You treated me right, you treated be the best that you could so you deserve it.
Years had passed and we both moved on but thinking how we became strangers again and trying to figure out the question you left unanswered still put an ache in my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been down in the dumps for so long but I had found my acceptance. I redirected my life and I did it on my own. This portion of pain in me is just a constant reminder of one great love I never expect would end.
Nevertheless, if our paths will cross again I will still give you my biggest smile. What we had is too good to keep grudge, at some point you made me the happiest girl and because of that you earned a space in my heart that will be forever yours, but that doesn’t stop me from loving someone else now.
Once upon a time you gave fairy tale. Thought it was not a happy ending, at a certain point of my existence you made me feel like a princess and I’ll forever be grateful for that. I just wish you told me what went wrong.