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I don't know if I just needed that one sip of alcohol to let go of all these feelings I've been keeping inside or if it's just alcohol playing tricks with what I'm feeling.
I'm writing this one after 2 glasses of white wine and an ongoing bottle of red with the 10 years of heartache spotify playlist.. so bear with me if I have spelling errors or grammatically incorrect sentences or if this one doesn't make sense at all. Sincere apologies.. That's what life is isn't it? Full of errors but you always just keep moving on trying not to look back. If I do, God, I hope it goes with this site or any other app where we can just edit out everything we want to change at the last minute, or even 10 days after.. or 10 months... I hope we could change one little incident, one event, one moment in our life and just hope it would change everything... but we can't.. can we? We just try to accept it with what it is now. even when it's hard.. even when it's unacceptable. Even when it's fucking you up.
Going back.. yes, a sip of alcohol just made me travel back to every moment in my life I didn't even want to remember. All the heavy weight I've been carrying up my shoulders.. I look back and think of all the regrets, all the people I lost along the way.. all the struggles and the pain I've been trying so hard to hide. If you see me on my other social media you'd think I'm the happiest, someone who got 0 problems, someone who doesn't know pain. That's why I'm here trying to be as anonymous as possible. I'm free to say whatever I want to say, especially the bits I'm so scared of showing. I'm just... free. with no judgement, no questions. Nothing.
525 Launches
Part of the Life collection
Published on July 03, 2021
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