Closet

"Lock him up, Nadine! That'll bring him to his senses. And you , you listen to me with those two useless ears of yours- you ever even think of kissin' a boy and my belt'll teach your back, good and hard...I swear , I swear , you faggot! Just lock'im nadi.." 

He could see from the crack of the closet- the fire that burned his room- his books , his diary, his goddamn xbox. 

(no , not my x box)

He knew the smoke would soon choke him to death but before that , it would creep in the closet like some snake , and would bite his eyes. 

"Dad! Open up!" He cried and  banged against the door, like he had done  before and before " Open the fucking thing up! Please..ple..". He slid down against the wall and crouched.."open up! Please.." 

"I  love you , John..just fucking love you!"

He caressed John's hairs...oh how soft they were..and his eyes, his blue eyes- God! Even Jesus will drown in'em. Has he ever been so deeply in love, before? John's words , they sounded like honey to him and the slight smile - that sit on John's lips like  a rose in a rose valley. He put his hand around John's neck. 

"Love you too , Larry..Larry swan..I .."He put his lips on John's and that night they kissed like stars kiss the starlight , like love kisses the lovers . Larry ran his hands around John's neck, his chest..and they loved like how a poet makes love to secrets..

Nither of them noticed Larry's father , standing on the doorstep, watching them with his bloodshot eyes, one hand on his belt- almost ready to lash his son. 

The smoke was creeping in but he had stopped crying for help. If they could come, he thought, they would have come by now. Yes he hated his father- he hated how his dad painted her Mom red every night. He hated his mother's muffled screams that came into his room from his parents' , trying so hard to hide everything , every slap. He hated his father but at this moment, I swear on God , he wished to all priests and angels that his father be alive..was it love? Or was it just a fleeting feel of helplessness? He didn't know. 

He got up and wiped his tears off. He looked at the door , for a while contemplated the idea but of what use ? Its not like he had a toolbox to choose from - he just had one way, one idea. 

The smoke was beginning to bite his eyes now. He closed them. 

'you faggot!' 

He took a few steps back and hit the door with his shoulders. His broad shoulders sent the shivers down - shivers of 'may be'.

'Burn in hell you piece of ..' 

He was beginning to choke now. It felt like needles sticking inside him. His  chest , frantically, heaving for more air. One last attempt. Futile. Ok one more- futile again..

Was he going to burn in hell? Didn't matter , he just didn't want to choke , burning would be better. 

"Oh Larry , love is love" John had told him. He told him a lot of things. John was a voracious reader. He told him how life and death had a creak in between- the creak where our life flashes before us ..that creak is all that matters, John had said. He had told him , how love unfathomable the universe was. He had told him all of that along with his love for him...

Oh how beautiful the night was , somewhere outside . He slid down again..his had around his neck , desperately in need of air , more air..his chest heaved up and down , up and down , up an..

"Oh Larry..I fucking love you too."