5 Shots To The Heart | Short Story

It took only 5 shots to see a future with her. It wasn't because I was drunk, I still had enough sense in me to make a proper judgment. She was already drunk when she came to me, and I still had 15 more bottles to go before I start slurring my words.

On the first shot, she told me her favorite color was pink - cobalt pink specifically. She went on for about 30 minutes trying to defend herself for it, saying that it didn't make her a basic bitch. A lot of girls avoid the color pink because they wanted to be different, but in trying so hard to be unique they wound up becoming like everybody else. Did I like her because she liked the color pink? Not really. She looks cute in pink, sure, but my main takeaway was that she stood for something. A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.

On the 2nd shot, she told me she'd been fooled too many times by 3 people. She trusted her childhood friend when she told her she had no interest in her crush. She trusted her high school boyfriend when he told her the necklace was for his little sister. Those two people are now married and have 3 kids. And the last person she trusted told her his secretary was a lesbian - she was not.

One could say she's gullible, but even that sounds like an understatement. I can only imagine how angry her friends must be at her for believing such obvious lies. My rose-colored lenses or maybe beer-flavored senses tell me that when she loves she trusts. Because when you love a person, you need to also trust them.

"Trusters need honesters" is what my never sober friend would say.

One should never lie to the person they love. If she looks like a cow in that dress, you tell her she looks like a cow in that dress. If she cries, you say moo. If she asks if your coworker has been flirting with you, you say yes but assure her that you won’t return their advances. You tell her even if she doesn't ask.

On the third shot, she showed me the scar under her collar bone. She got it when she was ten years old. She had always been afraid of cockroaches. But when she saw one near her baby brother, she took off her favorite pair of shoes and threw it at the butterfly wannabe. Then she picked up her brother and ran out of the room as fast as she could, not even noticing the nail on the side of the door. If she was by herself, she wouldn't have had to give up her shoes. She would have screamed and cried until her dad came to rescue her. She seems like the kind of girl who is weak and cowardly by default, but if someone needs her to be strong, she can be strong. Dare I say, she might even die for you if the situation called for it.

On the fourth shot, she told me she'd be willing to be my faithful housewife. She would do all the house chores, agree with me on everything, support me in every way possible, be at my beck and call, and take care of the kids. Classic 16th-century housewife. The kind that is completely dependent and devoted to their husband. That gave me the feeling that someone might have destroyed her self-esteem. Maybe someone told her that she would never be good enough, that she's not made to reach greater heights. She thinks she's made to be average.

She's selling herself short. She has given up and is now looking for an easier way out. The corporate world is cruelly competitive, so she's looking for a sugar daddy. Unfortunately for her, I'm just a guy in a Santa Claus costume. I might not know a lot about her, but I do know by now that she has integrity, honesty, courage, and ADHD. She may not be a Victoria’s Secret angel, but I'm no Calvin Klein model myself. I can't be looking for perfect if I'm imperfect.

On the fifth shot, she started crying over a limping cat. She said, and I quote "humans are pests. All the humans should just stop existing altogether". I loved that! I prefer animals over people too. When I watched Anaconda, I was rooting for the anacondas.

I was completely sold. I texted my best bud "I found the one!", to which he replied "one what??" 4 hours later. But I had lost my phone by then. I don't remember much after that fifth shot because we had jello shots and other stuff. What I do remember is waking up with a major headache and a kiss mark on my cheek. When I told my friends at the breakfast table, they went all out with the teasing. 

But what’s worse was that, no matter how much I racked my brains out, I could not remember her name. I did have an Instagram story with her that night, but the video was too blurry to be able to image search her. I could only remember the things that took place before that, so what else did she do aside from telling me her sob stories?