25.My Space

Today's post is dedicated to my johnny...

He is not a dog but my soulmate. And I am seriously ashamed to be a human. Because humans are selfish.While I was chasing the ones who loved, ones who didn't love me back, ones who backstabbed (like basically I was following humans who won't do anything for you) and failed to take care of my johnny.

I still remember how he came. I was in school doing my 4th or 5th std, and my blacky died. It was a rainy day. I was crying and not eating. On the same day, my dad came back with a cute little puppy maybe 10 days old who was found on the roadside with no one to take care of.

I named him as johnny. We washed him, gave him milk. And I sang lullabies for which he slept peacefully in my lap...Hands down, that was the most soul-satisfying thing I have ever done in my life till now.

He loved us to the moon and back. Each and every night, whenever I went to see him, he would be waiting for me eagerly. He would place his head in my lap and I would massage him..pat him..talk to him...

Then college days started and I couldn't visit my home often. After college, I had a lot on my plate. So I think I neglected him thinking that my problems are bigger than his while he was waiting for my love.

Now my johnny is sick. I suspected. Last night johnny didn't come and visit me. I thought he must be sleeping. But in reality, he was in pain. A dog came and saw me every night while I never once visited him.Ya...I took him for granted.

Now I saw him. He can barely wag his tail.No shine in his eyes. I don't know how suddenly his health went downhill. Or maybe I didn't pay enough attention.

God...It kills me. But no one is allowing me to touch my johnny. Because I am taking care of the baby (It doesn't make sense to me too?).The vet came and gave medicines. I hope he pulls through...But I don't want him to suffer too.

He is there lying in pain while I am writing a post. Can I be any more heartless? God! I don't deserve love at all!!!