3 Things you can Relate to

Hey you there, I can bet you will relate to at least 2 of the following things regardless of your location, race, nationality, belief, family background or economic status if you're not 9 anymore and have seen more of world than you appreciate having seen. Without much ado, let's get to the 3 things you'll relate to.

1. You have, at some point in your life been awfully embarrassed.

It may be that you mistook someone for another and talked to them, maybe you grabbed the wrong hand in crowd. Maybe you said something that you just couldn't justify despite your desperate attempts; or did you ask something you shouldn't have? Did you ever get caught doing something wrong? Well, maybe not shoplifting but opening the seal of a powder/shampoo to smell it? Did you go to school with incomplete work and get scolded in front of all your classmates or was it that you said something about someone and the someone found out making you the bad person all of a sudden?

No matter what it was, you definitely can remember one such incident that you wish wouldn't have taken place. Something that did or didn't matter so much and yet till date when you remember it, you feel your cheeks going just slightly warm.

2. You have lost someone you loved.

Now this is not a specific 'lost'. By this lost I mean they either passed away or you lost contact with them, either because you slowly drifted apart and even though you wanted them to stay in your life, you couldn't express it or because of an untimely fight or even a petty misunderstanding. There is someone you miss and wish was still around. There is someone you think would make your life, if even a little bit, better. There is someone who you knew you didn't want to part with when you did. Your grandparents, maybe? A parent or another family member? A true friend, the one you spent a lot of time with? Some stranger who you had a little bit of crush on but after high school you never saw them again? A teacher who was always an encouragement, a true motivation but for some reason you just don't see them anymore? A Facebook friend who you blocked but more often than not go to the block list to sigh when you see their name?

You must have at least one such person that you know should have been around but just isn't. Whether it inflicts pain on you or enrages you or even makes you depressed; whether or not you've recovered from the partition, there is someone in your mind right now that you've lost.

3. You're insecure about something.

Girls, is it your appearance, be honest now (I know it's not all of us, but many of us on some level)? Is it the way you talk, or think, or your school scores? Is it the way your parents behave or the fact that you're not as hardworking as you should be? Is it a secret you've kept from everyone or maybe you feel your friendships don't last very long. Maybe you get insecure when you make new friends? Are you insecure about the fact that you're of a jealous nature, or maybe about your eyesight-if you wear glasses. Maybe you're insecure about your writing, speaking or singing skills? Are you insecure when you dance? Are you insecure about you own future? Do you have a dark past or a family background that may be made fun of? Are you insecure about whether you'll ever find a life partner or maybe about whether you'll achieve your goals and fulfill your destiny? Are you insecure because you think you're not giving your best? Do you feel you can/could do better?

This one is a little hard to accept, i know. Many of us might feel like we're truly enjoying life and have no fears and insecurities, but that is seldom true. Human is an insecure being and as early men we led our lives in  daunting surroundings, where one wrong step could cost us our lives. With time, we've evolved and our surroundings have evolved faster but our insecurities seem to have stuck. We still carry those fears; we still have a fight, flight or freeze response to threats. Body language experts still interpret chin-down position as an expression of feeling threatened and so the chances are you're insecure about multiple things too, even if you're not consciously aware of it.

Now that we've talked about the 3 things you could relate to, how many of the other readers do you think could relate to them? What portion of humans on the planet, or for that matter, all intelligent animals have these things in common? You got it right. Most of the people have at some point in their lives embarrassed themselves, have lost a loved one or have felt insecure about something.

Why is it then that these are three of the most dreaded experiences possible for us? If these ugly feelings are what all of us humans have in common, no matter who or where we are, so shouldn't they be the ones that we know better to deal with?

Yet, every time you slip down in a public place, it is only your second thought that this happens to everyone. You first punish yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make. You feel bad about yourself and find ways to end the experience as soon as possible, and that man who laughed at you, affected you more than he deserved to.

Every time you lose a loved one, you suffer, sometimes alone. Never have we humans dared to talk about matters of death openly. We try to avoid the matter as much as possible, and those around the sufferer try to end their conversations in a mere, "I'm sorry for you" or "I know the pain is unbearable, but it'll go with time" because talking about it provokes emotions that are unpleasant. This is how it is, isn't it? And so that time when you suffered, you tried to suffer alone, so as not to cause sorrow or trouble to others. And when you friend ditched you, you didn't talk to anyone about it because that would create a bad impression of you. You never reached out to that person that has long forgotten you but you still remember them because they'd probably think you have nothing better to do.

These things made you insecure in some manner, but you shy away from those insecurities, never accept them because accepting your insecurities might mean accepting the fault in you. Accepting and truly owning the fact that you're insecure about your weight might mean that you're fat and you deserve to be deemed so, isn't it something that you can't ever put into words but on the inside is exactly how you feel about your them? If you're insecure about your future, does accepting it mean your future Is bleak?

Well, the above questions have answers only you can know, but they're not as subjective as one might think. If we're all connected by the above three dots, shouldn't we try to love ourselves more With them? If most of the other humans share these problems with us, don't we deserve better than we usually give ourselves?

It's time to accept the three, step out of our comfort zones and talk about them freely to the point when we'd be liberated from their shackles. There would be a taste of freedom in the air then and a bright light of connection would shine upon us. 

Write down in the comments section your most embarrassing moments, or your deepest insecurities. Let's also talk about the one that got away and where you are about it. 

Change starts here and now!