6 months

What is your sad story? 

This has been circling around twitter and here I am just reading every sad story, every comment, every retweet. I wonder if this has been my way of coping - that, listening to sad songs, watching Youtube videos about people losing people, reading posts, and books that have the same gist; and relating it to my life story, comparing what hurts the most, seeing people's pain and feeling it along with mine. But it would be so rude of me to think always of the pain when all my days with you was a happy memory. I try to think of all the good things but it hurts when I remember you and realise the moment I come home, you are not there. I try to imagine going home, and I know it will never be the same without you in it, and it's funny because I push you away everytime -- that's probably why I feel so bad about it. 

I wanted to try and not think about you all the time but the moment I don’t, I feel guilty for trying not to.. I don’t know if I’d ever forget how it feels like, this time 6 months ago. But time, I hope it’s true when they say it heals you.. Remember when I always say waiting was the only way to find a love that's true?   I already knew it was real with you, so I just wonder why I kept on waiting.. Oh god I wish I didn’t. 

I know, too many wishes, what ifs, and hopes to turn back time.. But would being with you made a difference at all?

Even for a slightest bit?