We can't force love to happen in the same way we can't deny it when it does.
I was in the middle of a pandemonium when we first met. You served as my guide in keeping everything right when I entered this four-cornered room we call "Z". You've been such a nice person and everyone in the room seems to like you; maybe that's one of the reasons why it was never hard for me to notice the good in you. You were just an ordinary person at first, but your presence turned out to be everything I was looking for. I can be annoying, weird, and sometimes overly emotional with you, but you did not push me away; you embraced some of my flaws and mood swings instead, and that's saying a lot.
Time went by, I got to know you more. A man who has survived a lot in his life with hurt and loneliness by his side. A man who's willing to sacrifice everything just for his loved ones. A man who has been strong because of what life has thrown at him.
They say, "Honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination." and this sucks. I know there's a time for everything-- time to let go and time to pick up the pieces when it's all over, but who's ready for this? Neither do I, so I'm willing to have this unfinished business with you. Really, it's hard to resist a bad boy who's a good man, considering the fact that timing's a bitch and there's no way we can be together.
My day is a lot happier when you're pissed because of me. Sometimes, I struggle going in to work, but thinking that I'll be seeing you on that middle side of the room makes it easier for me to do so. It saddens me when you're not around as I feel something in my day is missing and that only you can fill it in. You may always think that I'm not happy when I'm with you, sometimes it's true but most of the time, it's not. I just don't want you to feel more complicated and that I'm adding burden to your life. Remember, we may have nice watches but we've got bad timing -- and this always makes me sad.
To: A man who can't be named
Fr: A woman who's never been whole