A girl's inner voice!

My heart is beating fast. I feel restless at this moment. I feel like the person whom I like most is going out of my hands in front of my eyes and I am unable to do anything. Yeah and I feel like I am unable to breath. I need more oxygen. I guess he is my oxygen.
Tomorrow is going to be a big day in our life. I say so because he is going to meet a girl for marriage proposal and I guess he is interested in the profile already and I am here without even having courage to express my feelings towards him.
Why I am not expressing? Am I a coward? No, I m not. I  don't want to lose him. But what is stopping me from expressing? Is it my inferiority complex? I feel like I don't match his requirements of a bride. I am just me.
I can't expect him to love me but I don't think I can see him with someone else. I already feel jealous and possessive on him.
God please be with me. Please give me courage to bear things. I want his happiness even if I m not in his life.
If I am not supposed to be in his life then why did you made him to come into my life??
I believe in you, it's all your game, if he is really born for me, please let him know what I feel for him. Don't put me in confusions of whether to say or not.
It's diwali festival today please show me some lights in my path, I want to walk along with him. Don't divert it. I don't know whether I can sleep tonight, even tomorrow, until I come to know about his decision.
Time is running. Not sure if this is going to be my time zone. With trust in you. Hoping for the best to happen.