A letter to myself

Dear Self,

I know you have so many dreams, so many goals, so many things you wanna achieve in life. I know how extravagant and beautiful your dreams are. I know it ain't only for yourself but also for others. I know you have so many "if only" in life.

The way you see the sky when the sun bids goodbye, I know you know that just like the moon, your time will come. The way you look at the sea as it carry the big waves to and fro, I know you know that, no matter how big the waves are, you can still able to carry on in life. The way you smile at the trees whenever it start swaying, I know you know that, no matter how hard life is , you can still dance and sway freely. The way you close your eyes, I know you wanna live your life by thinking about your dreams.

Self I am sorry. I am sorry if the only way I do whenever I wanna achieve my dreams , is just to close my eyes and imagine things. I am sorry for spending too much time imagining instead of doing a thing. I am sorry for having a lot of dreams yet having no plans to achieve it. I am sorry.

I am sorry self if I didn't move just because I am afraid to fail. I am sorry that I'd rather live my dream by imagining than achieving just because it feels like an Impossible dream. I am sorry for being a coward and not taking any steps to achieve it. I am sorry if my fears of failing others who believed in me always overpower than my fears of  not improving. I am sorry.

I know I am more than what I am now. But I can't move. I kept on thinking  what should be my next move, my next safe move, but it's a "checkmate"! Nowhere else to run. One move and you'll lose. One move and you'll start over again.

But self, I promise, someday we can do it. Someday we can have enough courage. Someday we will not be doing things for others but for ourselves. Someday we'll achieve everything. But I'm sorry also self, because that day is not today and still unsure. I'm sorry.