Back when we were young, we often tend to get dolls as present on special occasions. That time, we were so happy that we can't wait to open the box and play with the dolls but we were always told to wait until the party's over and then we could play to our heart's content.
And when we get home, our excitement doubles when we see the dolls outside of the box. We play with it until the day ends.
Playing with our dolls is one of the most popular favorite hobbies of daughters like us. We would make the choice on what our dolls would wear for that day. We would be the one to decide what pose for them to make. We get to choose what their names are, their favorite color, and the hairstyle. Oh that beautiful hair. We treat them as our own. Our daughter. We do things to them that we can't do on ourselves. We create poses that would make them beautiful because it fits them, unlike when we do the posing. We do every style there is with their hair, because we know we can't do it on our own head. We tell them what time to go to bed, what time to sleep, to wake up, if they get to "eat" the food you made from leaves and flowers. We make the decisions for them. Ah. Childhood is the best.
But then growing up, I started to realize how similar my life is with a porcelain doll. Decisions were made by my parents. They tell me what to do and what not to do, when to and when not to, where to go and where not to go, what to choose and what not to choose, what to like and what shouldn't be liked. Things like that. And I didn't mind it at all. After all, they are my parents. They know what's best for me. Yet, there are times when I hear this voice inside me telling me something that's against what they want. At first I didn't know who it was or what it was. Turns out, it was me. My voice. A sound I didn't know I was capable to make. It was trying to reach out to me. Telling me that I, too, have things I could do, without them telling me. That's when my similarities with a porcelain doll ends.
We may both be like toys that some people like to play with, but as time goes by, as I grow up, and as the doll stays the same, I get to hear my own voice. I tend to think on my own and choose to decide for myself. I began to stop being like the mindless porcelain doll that I used to play with when I was young.
But that's what I thought.
In reality, there are still more times when the image of a porcelain doll would come to mind as I let them decide for me. Without me doing anything.
I have one question for myself, "Are you different than a mindless porcelain doll?"