A Painful

Back and forth. Back and forth.

We were in a park.

Back and forth. back and forth.

It was windy.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

It was quiet.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

Stop.

Creak.

"What's wrong?", she asked. Her voice was like the wind, present in a moment and gone in the next. I never missed it.

I grimaced. "Nothing.", I answered. I cleared my throat. "I'm fine."

She said nothing but I knew she wanted to know why I never told her. She was my closest friend, my only friend. She asked and asked. But she was never answered.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

"Why?" I stopped. "Why do you do this to yourself?", she continued. "Doesn't it hurt?"

I continued swinging back and forth. "No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Liar.

I stopped again. I took deep breaths.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

She whispered in my ear. "I can make it go away you know. The pain. We've been friends for so long. You can trust me."

I suddenly remembered something. I stood up. "School. I-I have to go study. I can't lose again to second place."

She frowned, standing up too. "Oh. When can we play again?"

I laughed, grabbing my books. "You're always by my side. We can always play whenever we want, you know."

She smiled. "I know, it's just that, you play with others now. I feel like I'm no longer your friend." She pouted at me.

"Please don't leave me."

I looked at her. She was my only friend, my one and true confidante. I could trust her. But at the same time, I knew she was dangerous. She was the reason why she was my only friend.  She was there when I had to cry and to make me cry.

I had to let her go.

I took a deep breath. I looked her in the eye and said,

"Depression, leave."

She smiled.

She walked over and hugged me.

She whispered,

"Stay with me."

And I fell apart in her arms.