Abuse can make children grow up faster than others, causing them to lose their inner child and become a survivor. People who suffer abuse early on in life may later experience behavioral problems that stem from deeper issues in the past. Depression and anxiety is also persistent among rape, abuse and domestic violence survivors, as they struggle to cope with their reality. While our past experiences of abuse may wound us for a lifetime, it is important to remember that they cannot define us. These past wounds can only affect us until we hold on to the shame and guilt induced from our experiences of abuse. When we choose to believe that abuse can no longer shame us and guilt-trip us into paranoia, depression and anxiety is when we truly begin the journey to heal from our past.
Our past has no power over us. It cannot define us in any way nor limit our futures. Although childhood experiences can shape our adult lives, we must choose healing above all. Shame should not overshadow our survival journey or cease our healing process. Survivors must remember that it is the abusers, rapists and harassers who should be truly shameful and guilty for all their actions, not them. The perpetrators of abuse violated the bodily autonomy of another person, broke their trust and acted on their animalistic impulses that damaged the victim mentally and physically. We must remember this mantra every time a feeling of shame crosses our path and paralyses our minds. We must not be shameful for being the victim of these shameful abusers but rather we should stand courageous and strong to the world without any feeling of shame or guilt. We must acknowledge that our past experiences do not define us in any way.
Recovering from abuse can become an easy process once we no longer let the feeling of intense guilt and shame cloud our judgment. It is when we choose acceptance and healing that we take the first step on the journey of our recovery and hold the power in our hands, not in the abusers. On your healing journey, you may feel isolated and lonely at times but it is important to understand the critical importance of healing and freeing your body, mind and soul from this experience throughout the process. Seeking professional help is very important and helpful on your journey to recovery. Disruptive thoughts and memories can hinder your healing process and give your power to the perpetrators of abuse. You must reclaim your own power and realize that your value does not diminish through any experience or person. Embracing positive affirmations and remembering your worth as a whole person are important steps to refocus your subconscious mind with positivity.
It may take time to heal from the wounds that have been affecting the victims for many years. Healing is not linear and the journey to recovery can take some time in order to build self-esteem and self-belief. It can be tempting to lose hope and faith in such times. The Black Gown by Paolo Tabbi reminds us to choose to believe in ourselves, free ourselves from all past wounds and begin our journey to true inner healing.