A War from Within

The war that I feel isn't about fighting with guns, bombs or nuclear weapons. In this war, soldiers are useless. Soldiers can't help me because I have to deal with this dilemma alone. It's not a physical war. It's chaos from the core.

The war that I experience is the war that causes a helpless struggle within myself. It makes me weak. I tend to panic not because of the noise created by missiles but I struggle due to the silence covered me. I am inside a ruined disc who plays in a deafening sound of loneliness and melancholy. This is my self version of the cold war.

Can you forgive me when I say the words I never meant? I'm sorry for what I did. I did it to escape from reality. Maybe, you will judge me shouting that I am the craziest sinner of all time.

I will confidently take that as a compliment while I'm front of you.

You may feel that it's nothing to me or I'm just seeing it as a joke but you never know. When you leave, the words that you curve are engraved into my selfish heart.

I will sigh, pose the moment and smile to the world to fake the happiness and endure the pain.

The war from within sometimes starts from the outside. People should be careful about writing and talking to others. That's a lesson learned. Everyone bears their own war inside. Please, stop criticizing somebody with your twisted standards. We'll never know the reason behind their actions.

I'm sorry.... for revealing your secret, Anne.

Your other self,
Grace