"Are You Scared of Being Alone?"

They ask me always, "Are you not scared of being alone: at home, walking at night, watching movies, malling, eating, jogging, traveling, trekking, etc.?"

Most of the time, I just smiled to them and walk away. Sometimes I just cracked a joke or tell some movie lines just to divert the seriousness aura. What am I gonna response when I'm also puzzled by the thought.

Everytime, after turning back and walking away, somehow I also think about it. Am I not scared? I enjoy my own company walking in the street late at night after overtime work, I don't feel so sad when I go to mall alone roaming in every store, windowshopping, I also don't feel bothered when I'm taking a jog at night. I see couples around - beside me, in front of me, behind me - laughing together, spending time together, fighting with each other, yet I know that I'm definitely fine with myself.
Sometimes, honestly, I wish someone will walk me home when it's dark, or eat dinner with me, or accompany me in places I want to go, or spend time with me when I'm alone. Yes, I feel alone, though not the "sad-being-alone" but the "contented-being-alone". I have friends and family but at the end of the day and most of the time i just have myself.
Then, I realized, being alone makes me love and cherish myself more. It makes me wonder much more about my inner self - my personality, attitude towards people, my self confidence,self worth, my life. Being alone gives me the opportunity to know myself more, builds me to be a stronger person. It's necessary to have your time alone.

Yet,at some point, i also realized something of what scared me most for being alone.

Honestly, I'M SCARED OF BEING USED TO IT. That one day, I will find it better to be alone than to have somebody by my side. That one day, I might forget that I have friends and family that loves me and want to spend time with me.I'm afraid that there might come a time that I'll lock myself alone and block those person who want to accompany me along the way. I might love myself so much that I could become self centered and selfish. It scared me that I might push away those person I love.

🌌💭