"Just quit"
"Just give up"
"You don't deserve this platform"
"You don't deserve to live"
These sayings and quotes that are lurking inside of my head... how can I remove them? How can I avoid them?
"You are the best gift that God has given to me." This is the first word that my mom said to me on the day of my birth. Probably, this is the most positive word that I have heard because it came from the most special person of my life.
The world gave me a lot of wonderful things when I was a child. During those times, happiness is the only thing that I'm seeking. There are no problems and hardships. But, I know that I will not be forever young.
I now reached the "problematic stage" of my life. My TEENAGE days.
The feeling of anxiety, doubts and OCDs; a teenager can experience it in this stage.
Somehow, teenager stuffs are fun but not until we experience heartbreaks, judgments and expectations.
Being a TEENAGER is somehow a CURSE.
I remember the first time when my first heartbreak happened. I don't know why it is really hard for me to move on. The torns that I thought are only living inside of my head. Suddenly, they reached my heart and it stab me with all its might. And that time, I WANT TO BURST LIKE A BUBBLE.
I remember the time when one of my teachers told me that I'm a fool. That's the time that I failed his Math exam just because of joining a dancing competition and he hates my coach there. I know within me that I will passed if I only not take the opportunity of winning that competition. It is really a heartbreak for me since I am running for honors. So again, I WANT TO BURST LIKE A BUBBLE.
I remember the time that I expected a lot of things from a certain guy. I am the one who is making a move cos' I am so desperate to love and to be loved back. I expected too much that I never think of things like this to happen. Again, I REALLY WANT TO BURST LIKE A BUBBLE.
The things that makes me want to burst like a bubble are the most painful things that could happen to me as a teenager.
But, it doesn't make sense at all...
Now, readers.... If you want to burst like a bubble, then so be it. Do you wonder what you'll miss?
EVERYTHING....
It's not worth trying.
You will never have a happy ending.
FIGHT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT.
One day, you will surpass all of these things with the Almighty who gives us LIGHT.
And also one day, you will now smile. It is not the smile that you give to those who hurt you and pretend it's okay. But it is a victory smile that shows other people that you already achieve something in your way.
So... smile my friend even though it hurts. Don't give up and don't dream to burst.