Dean was sitting in the Impala’s driver seat, the hot leather sticking itself to his exposed arms and shoulders. A sheen of sweat glistened along his forehead and along his chest, a small pool of it dampening his lower back and causing the grey tank top to cling to him uncomfortably. Sam sat next to his brother in the passenger side, a grin tugging at his lips as Dean loaded a bowl into his pitch black and blood red pipe. Dean held the pipe and his black lighter, turning to Sam suddenly with a serious look on his face.
"Sammy, if you tell dad about this, I’ll end you."
"Promise," he said quietly, then nodded once. He still had that goofy grin on his face, small bits of his hair plastered to his forehead. Dean couldn’t help smiling back, then shaking his head lightly, he took a hit, inhaling the cloudy grey smoke slowly. Sam watched his older brother slip away at the age of 17.
*~*~*~*~*
At the age of 25, Sam traveled around a lot by himself, trying to get away from college during spring break. He decided not to go hunting with Dean, and he still had managed to get back in time for his interview. Sam was a happily married man, twins on the way. While he was in Lawrence, Kansas, he stopped to visit some friends and ran into Dean.
"Heya, Sammy," he heard a familiar voice say. He turned, and there stood his almost 30 year old brother, smiling at him almost sadly.
"Hi, Dean," he said back, a tiny smile slipping to his face. They left to a bar together, reluctantly on Sam’s part at first, and caught up. There in that bar, learning Dean was still single and a nomad, he watched his older brother slip away at the age of 29.
*~*~*~*~*
It’s been a few years and Sam is at home having dinner with his beautiful wife Jess, his two gorgeous daughters, and a couple in the neighborhood. He laughs as Jessica tells a joke, and then politely excuses himself to answer the front door, kissing her on the cheek. Sam’s jaw drops a bit as he sees the ‘67 Chevy Impala from the window, and opens the door to see Dean behind it. They haven’t spoken in a long time, but it’s Christmas, and Sam lets Dean in anyway.
"Heya, Jessica," he hears his brother’s voice float in from the kitchen. Sam turns and walks in after him, pulling another chair up for him. They laugh and talk for hours after the twins have been put to bed, and Dean has excused himself and said his goodbyes. Sam walks him to the door and they awkwardly say their own goodbyes, saying they should do this more often and how it was good seeing each other again.
Dean and Sam hug briefly, and Sam watches as his brother’s car disappears down the driveway and around a bend in the road. Sam knows something’s wrong with Dean, and he knows that he won’t talk about it, and Sam also knows that he’s watching his older brother slip away at the age of 36.
*~*~*~*~*
Sam finds Bobby’s number that Dean had given him all those years ago, and he prays it still works. Bobby sounds confused as he picks up, but when he realizes it’s Sam, he hears Bobby choke up a bit. Now Sam feels his stomach drop and his fear spike up as he silently listens to Bobby’s sobs coming through the phone. He swallows the lump that had started to form in his throat, and finally spoke.
"Bobby, what’s going on?" Sam can feel Jessica’s worried eyes on him, but he’s distracted as Bobby speaks up.
"Don’t tell me you don’t know, boy," Bobby manages to get out.
"Know what?" Sam replies quietly, worry weaving itself into his voice.
"About Dean." After a moment of silence, Bobby sniffled and went on, “Dean’s gone, Sam - he’s dead and he ain’t coming back."
Sam can feel his heart shatter and a severe pain shoot throughout his chest at Bobby’s words. It takes a minute for Sam to realize that Bobby’s serious, and a strange numbness takes over. He tells Bobby he has to go, and hangs up on him quickly. Sam tosses the phone on the counter and storms out, leaving Jess at the house without another word.
Sam drives out to their old house where the fire had taken place, getting out of the car and walking to a hidden alleyway behind it. He spends hours sitting there numbly, before he remembers Dean had hidden his pipe and lighter in a hole behind one of the bricks. It takes him a few attempts before he finds both items, along with a small cannabis stash. There, at the age of 36, Sam watched himself slip away and knew he’d join his older brother soon.