Challenges That Make it Tough for Foster Parents

Taking care of kids is not an easy thing to do. It is a full time job that wears you out, often until your children grow up into responsible adults. As a matter of fact, even grownups don’t make things easy for parent sometimes. But, you know what’s even harder? Taking care of children in foster care.

There are some common challenges that every foster parent has to face. But being aware of them makes it easier to survive. We have listed a few but don’t forget, whatever the challenges may be, being a foster parent ultimately makes you a better person.

Managing Challenging Behavior

Foster children are multifaceted individuals, coming from complex backgrounds and having complex needs. Taking in children from foster care is certainly a big challenge as sometimes children manifest their needs by showing antisocial or may be self-destructive behaviors. Children who come from foster care have experienced a major change in their lives which is often a result of a disturbing experience. Apart from having been separated from their parents, they have had to leave friends, move house and change school. So, it is quite normal of such children to feel sad, worried and angry.

Foster children find it hard to make friends and develop social skills. They find it difficult to manage their emotions, regulate behavior, calm themselves down, trust others, feel safe and even learn at school. You need patience and preparation to treat such behaviors. You need to take a close look and understand the unique needs of every child and work accordingly.

Handling Burnout

Often a burnout disguises itself and a person can’t even figure out that he is fatigued. You need to be aware that you are facing a burnout so that you can take proper care of yourself. You may feel depressed, exhausted, run down, unmotivated and even hopeless at times. You need to make changes so that you can keep not only yourself but your marriage, family and job from suffering. To help reduce burnout, you can bring subtle changes to your lifestyle, start an exercise, a special diet or take assistance from a support group. You might have to face serious complications if you ignore a burnout or if it is left untreated. If you, as a foster parent can’t handle a burn out, it will be difficult for you to give the much needed love and support to your foster child.

Interacting With Biological Families

In a safe and beneficial environment, it is often one of the primary aims of foster placements to bring together the child and his biological parents. It is one of the most difficult challenges that foster parents have to face. Being foster parents may mean having a continued contact with biological parents. Biological families are aware about the help they need from a foster parent, but sometimes they can be resistant. They may aim anger and resentment at you. If it is so, try giving them a chance. This may end up in relationships that are beneficial for the child’s wellbeing. It would be better to focus on the future seeing past previous parental challenges.

Keeping Alive the Charm of Your Marriage

When you are putting much of your energy and time into your foster kids, you are likely to neglect your spouse because you are so exhausted and drained. When it comes to parenting, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. Both of you need to be consistent about all the decision making for your foster child. Your marriage must be a cornerstone of your home and you must work to make it a happy one. Don’t use being tired of taking care of children as an excuse to ignore your spouse. Raising kids is a draining duty but don’t neglect the concerns and needs of your spouse.

As a foster parent, you need to be aware of the challenges that come along. You need to make time for yourself and your marriage to survive as a foster parent. Being in a support organization is also beneficial as they provide the necessary information, fellowship and insight along with support. You can also take help from the material available online, published by foster care advocates like Jami Amerine. She is an author and speaker, living in Texas with her husband, Justin, and 6 kids out of which 2 are adopted. Jami holds a bachelor’s degree in Family and Consumer Sciences and a master’s degree in Education, Counseling and Human Development. She loves speaking, writing, and participating in respite foster care, a program designed to help other foster families with temporary care. Her blog, Scared Ground Sticky Floors has all the material that you need as guidance and tips. Jami’s writings have been featured on scarymommy.com, sammichesandpsychmeds.com, foreverymom.com, themighty.com, and bonbonbreak.com so you know you can trust her!