It's funny how childhood memories taunt you like nightmares.
For years, I have grown to bury this sad page of my story. Even thought that I have torn it to pieces. Never have I thought that this supposed to be torn page would glue itself back together and appear in front of me begging for me to read it back.
One of the ironies that life gives is that when you try to forget and disregard something, your mind will always find a way and tease you to remember that one thing that you would regret remembering. Instead of being a bitter-sweet memory, it would then turn into a frightening nightmare which gives you terror as if it has given you a phobia for years. Whenever something ignites my memory to flash it back, symptoms of depression would then creep in because just when I thought I had moved on from that part of my life, then will I realize that I never really have. I have just grown to live with the pain and terror it brings.
Forgetting isn't my solution. No, it will never be.
Because no matter how hard I will try, I will and could never forget that page of my book because that single moment itself plays an important role in binding my whole story together.
Nightmares will remain nightmares unless you try to rewrite the whole story itself. But we cannot rewrite life, can we?
The question lies on how can we live with this ordeal and turn it into a simple memory?
As I grow older, I finally thought that what I really need is to accept that creepiest and probably the most painful plot twist in my life. Yes, acceptance.
Nothing can make your emotional wounds and even your psychological torments heal faster than accepting the truth that it will always be a part of your life; part of living.
We are different characters written on different books with one thing in common - that is to experience pain and have numerous nightmares that we all have to go through. Our different plots are all connected with the idea of being haunted, to suffer and survival.
What makes our stories different is how we choose to end it.
Will we try to fight those nightmares and chase daydreams?
Or will we just let ourselves be haunted by our childhood nightmares.