Time: Friday morning, 30/5/2014
Place: Home
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Me: I don't do what I want, I do what's necessary.
Mom: Then you are stupid.
Me: Why?
Mom: What is "necessary"?
Me: The "necessary" is what upholds justice and ensures everybody's better good.
Mom: Yet, you don't do yourself justice; you don't ensure your better good.
Me: I'm not everybody.
Mom: You think you're better?
Me: I think I'm worse.
Mom: Why exactly?
Me: You know why.
Mom: I think that you're just scared.
Me: No, I'm damaged beyond repair.
Mom: Leave these big words, you want to enjoy your life as much as every other person your age.
Me: I want, but I won't.
Mom: You're torturing yourself for no reason.
Me: I'm not torturing myself, I'm saving others from me.
Mom: If you think you're that bad, then why don't you shield me from you as well? I mean..I'm your mother and you should care about me the most.
Me: I'm selfish when it comes to you; without you there is no resort left.
Mom: But you know I'm going to die sooner or later.
Me: I know, and as much as I try to be ready...I won't be.
Mom: Wouldn't it be nice if you had other people by your side for moments such as these.
Me: ...
Mom: You did many foolish things in the name of "justice", in the name of "the better good"...When you look at your life, do you see justice? did you reach the better good?
Me: ...
Mom: You caged yourself, thought that this is the best solution for everyone...but the people who told you to do this are greedy, they are selfish and they'll never appreciate the way you care.
Me: ...
Mom: The people who actually cared are out of your life now, and they are damaged...and you know who did that? You.
Is this justice?
Me: It was necessary.
Mom: The fear in your head told you it was, but the most powerful thing you can ever do is to be vulnerable to those who love you, don't push them away.
Me: I guess you're right.
Mom: You KNOW I'm right, but yet you won't follow my advice.
Me: I'll try to at least.
Mom: I couldn't ask for more.