Ritu Siddharth
Vimala looked around her; the gardener was pruning the fence; the open hose let out water to flowering plants, aesthetically planted in front of the entrance of the college; few birds were merrily bathing in the spurting water..College buses arrived one after the other; flocks of students got down and moved in different directions to their respective classes, they would leave their bags in the class room and gather for assembly.
Vimala stood covered behind a tree; she was waiting for bus no. 37, from Rajaji Colony that carried her precious. She waited…and then , he walked amidst his friends….. tucked-in maroon shirt and grey pants, his shoes making regular beats, tic tac, tic tac.
“Hey Vim ! Are you helping the gardener?”Rum shouted from where she stood.
“Hey Rum”, Vimala called her once and the name stuck; at first Ramya resented, but when everyone called her she accepted it.
“I ..er..no silly”, Vimala fumbled , wishing Rum had not unraveled her secret.
Assembly: One student had to speak every morning on a topic after the prayer. Rajiv Shankar climbed up the dais, opened the paper and began to read. ‘Respected members of staff and dear students,.. Inspite of the knowledge that plastic bags bring ruin to the environment, we continue to use them’…Vimala did not hear further, she was just aware that his lips moved and he looked up now and then from his paper .She heard the claps. 3 mins must have been over. He folded the paper and pushed it into his pocket, his eyes focused on the steps as he stepped down the concrete, slim, fair, clean shaven face, with a shock of hair that refused to stay up and kept sliding down on his forehead however much he tried to push it back. She thought he was good looking. Vimala bit her lips.
She had been seeing his group, and he in particular. Each day she liked one more feature of him, so till date she liked his smile, grin, laughter, voice, movements , walk, handwriting, the way he drank water at the cooler. Once she heard him hum a tune, she liked the song ever since.
He wore glasses. One day he walked wiping his spectacles, walked past a low branch that grazed his forehead . “Uh!”a gasp from him, then a red spot appeared on his forehead. Vimala wanted to rush to him.
The next day she saw him with a plaster on the wound.
“Does it pain a lot?”she wanted to ask him.
He laughed at something his friend spoke. ‘Ah, thank God’, she was relieved.
11.30am… a 10 mins break. A time when most would flock the canteen ,some at the cooler.
“Come with me to drink water”, Vimala called her friends.
“Drink from my bottle’, suggested Sujata.
“It’ll be cool in the cooler.. It’s so hot”, remarked Vimala.
“Then take someone else, I’ve to draw my record”, she was reluctant to walk the distance and climb the stairs.
Rajiv was at the cooler waiting for his turn to get the tumbler chained to the cooler. Vimala climbed 2 steps at a time and ran out of breath as she reached the cooler, slipped on the water under her feet, she staggered and steadied herself and avoided collision with a boy . The boy turned round ,startled. It was Rajiv. He saw her pant for breath, filled the container and passed it on to her. Her hand shook as she received it. She later wished she had touched his hand or collided with him. ‘Oh! Missed 2 chances’, she thought several times.
One day he walked alone from the bus.. He wiped sweat off his forehead as he walked slowly towards his class. Vimala was aghast. He had long stubs on the face. Was he unwell? She cried. Her heart rumbled inside her. ‘Go find out’.
“ Vimala, are you not well?” the tutor stopped her lecture to ask her.
“No mam”, Vimala wiped her eyes hastily.
“Then focus your attention here”, the tutor resumed her lecture. She listened for sometime then his face with stubs appeared again.
“Our bus is over there!” Vimala told her friends and led them quickly towards the gate. It was bus no. 37. Rajiv was walking in front of them . She caught up with him and looked sideways as he boarded the bus. He appeared better. She was relieved.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought 19 was here, sorry Rum, let’s go back”, she managed.
Vimala sat with her friends on the grass for lunch. The girls had finished half of their meal, Vimala was just nibbling her chappati thoughtfully.
“She is behaving abnormally now a days”, observed Sujata.
“Yes , yes ..I too feel so”, Ramya agreed.
“Are you in love ?”Ramya asked her.
‘ I’m not sure’, Vimala wanted to say, but sat staring into her lunch box.
She began to lose weight; her marks were poor; her parents were disheartened, teachers were shocked.
April: Preparatory holiday: Vimala was losing her composure. During college days she was happy Rajiv was somewhere around though she missed him,only,on weekends but his absence now for 15 days , then the unconnected exam dates and finally his exit from the college arena was sure to distraught her. She will not find him around anymore near the cooler, nor in the bus; the air will not contain his breath….she sank into her own emptiness. His thoughts occupying a large proportion and her struggle to get a decent score in the exams was draining her.
Just before the separation she wanted to talk to him atleast once.
She made up her mind to meet him as he gets down his bus. Not to take a chance, she used her 2-wheeler to reach the college well ahead of the buses. He got down the bus the usual way but she stood there swallowing, unable to step forward to meet him.
She would get in touch near the cooler she decided. She held the tumbler and extended it to him. He noticed her tremble.
“You drink first, I’ll take later”, he said.
“Good luck for your exams”, she merely managed to say. Her voice shook. He waited till she consumed icy water. He said nothing. She thought he had not heard her. She held the steel tumbler tight when he tried to take it from her.
“Give”, he said. She slackened her hold. “Thank you and thanks”, he said together for her wishes and the tumbler. She stood rooted to the spot wanting to speak more.. She merely stood there watched him drink and walk away. She sank into the chair in the lobby and buried her face in her kerchief in anger and self pity. That was the last time she saw of him.
She managed her exams well but moved about like a cadaver, losing more weight.
College reopened in June. She felt as if she walked in a desert, wondered how she would pass through the year-long stay in the college without his presence. Days though moved, slowly in grief and despair.
She graduated. Six months later she was employed in a reputed company.
3 years hence : Vimala stopped at the signal, loosened the seat belt for a brief moment. A pair to her right on a bike waited restlessly , the girl clinging to the boy , urging him to squeeze into the already jammed traffic. Vimala remained unaffected by their intimacy. She had been tormented for 3 years ever since she spotted him in the college and Rajiv Shankar had been a spell- bound name to her. She had thought her future had collapsed without Rajiv; but here she was, alive without him and doing well as well! She accepted that almost all at some stage of their life were mad for someone who did not stay in their life for ever. Rajiv Shankar was only a name to her now, his form had begun to recede from her memory in the last 8 months. The signal changed...she drove on comfortably.
…Concluded