Dear diary,
My thread of life is twisted, filled with knots and taut. Probably, I am starting to mess it up, lately. I am getting clumsier in my head and couldn't help being too much self-aware. I am playing very hard to win everything in my society. Trying to be beautiful, kind and talented, my pages are full of myself. To be best with everything, I am losing myself to pretense. I can't even remember how I was before. Before. Probably, it was when my life lacked indicators. Not to be secluded, I changed myself too much. The disguise was heavy and pretty. And there you are- a member of their gang. My mind kept getting narrower and my body kept moulting the skin full of scars. Scars- I miss them. Wow, I became a carbon copy of them, attention seekers. I shifted into a brand new society, which demanded brains that score. There again! That attitude of mine. I squeezed my heart through the streets of the new world. New people, new scars. An outcast again.Well, I got through it with highest score and loneliness. My box was dark and I shook hands with my monsters. Well, the coward started living in a society.Now, what? Beauty? Marks? Not really. Freedom. Probably, my standards got high and I wasn't able to accept people around. But, they are comfortable. Their simple smiles and silly gossips are nice.I started to feel the freedom from those indicators. Simplicity is beauty.Then, this roller-coaster ride through the world got me here. Why? Because of you.You. I am attracted to you.To that extent, I can't get you out of my head. But, I can't fall into a relationship-well. It's burdensome. I don't want an indicator, now. I just started learning bliss and carefree attitude.So, no more complications, no more pretense. I will untie those knots and I will let go of my obsession.