To The Man I Love, To My Future
The first time I felt your presence, I began joining the dots in the sky, wondering when our stars would align.
I used to think often of where you are and if you’re happy. Were you in love? Hoped she was gentle.
I know you and I are the same in that way-we bruise a little more easily than most. You see, our souls were made in the same breath.
I used to think about you and your love together. (Feels envious).But little did I know of the destiny’s game. Little did I know that the one for whom I secretly crave and wish to be happy was the one-My Love? I knew you deserved to be happy but didn’t know that I’m the one who can give it all to you.
It’s not that you needed me. You needed Someone.
Someone who would love you selflessly. Someone who would kiss your forehead while you’re asleep. Someone to bury your teary eyes in. Someone who would put the broken pieces of you back in place or at least someone who would cover up the wounds with her love.
Don’t know if in this one year I could be that someone of your life. But I have always tried to be. Your smiling face is all that matters to me.
We all have had a dark past that becomes difficult to forget. Yet, we try to or at least we should try to move on and feel lucky for you have that someone you can always rest your head on. (Unlike you. What?! Yes you. Because you prefer making grumpy faces and sleepless nights when your past memoirs dawns on you)
I have always tried to make you understand that but you never put an attempt to move on. You yourself are the reason why every other night your “dark shades of life” hunts you down.
Even I have had those dark shades but I ignore remembering them. I just try to be happy for what I have. Happy that I have you. Happy and courageous that the next time “the dark shades” comes back I know I wont be alone. I know I’ll have you by my side.
I just wanted to say you that I love your perfect imperfections for imperfections are the beauty of life. From the day I got you I have had the best of life. All I ever wanted. The smiles on my face, it’s for you. (Smiles again).
We have gone through a lot of ups and downs which has made us stronger. The rough and the smooth phases. We can get over it together.
Words lack to define how much you mean to me.
“Love doesn’t come to you in crashing waves or thunder bolts. It appears as a song on the radio or particular blue in the sky. It dawns on you slowly like a warm winter sunrise-where the promise of summer shines from within.”
That’s love. A sense of feeling complete.
Love is not only about making out. It’s about growing together and nurturing into one. Understanding, Loyalty and Trust. You have taught me a lot of precious things in life.
You need me more than I need you. No it’s not that I don’t need you. Of course I need you because I love you. But you need someone who will teach you to love yourself. (Hope I’ll succeed in teaching you that one day)
And yes my Boy, no matter what Ill love you always. Even if your hair turns grey and your teeth withers. I’ll love you.
29.05.15