“I would love it if you would stop going after people so close to me.”
“So close to you?”
“Yeah. First you fucked my husband’s best friend, then his programmer and now you are going after his brother?”
“Going after? What are you talking about? I already went after him and boy, he’s good in bed.”
“Arrrgh!”
“Also, they aren’t close to you, they are close to your husband.”
“What, you wanna fuck my husband too?”
“No thank you, m’am. I don’t go after married men, they are too committed and it’s disgusting.”
“Are you calling me disgusting now?”
“No! I’m calling marriage disgusting, idiot!”
“You’re the only idiot I know here. Stop fucking his brother.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“I’m his sister-in-law.”
“And my best friend! So get off my dick business.”
“Fuck you!”
“No thank you!”
“...”
“...”
“Please stop fucking him.”
“We haven’t done anything since that night, so hold your stupid assumptions.”
“Oh, really? My husband said he goes out every weekends now.”
“Doesn’t mean anything.”
“He’s been seeing you.”
“I think you’re forgetting something, Hon. I don’t ‘see’ people. I fuck them.”
“So then what’s going on?”
“I told you already. We aren’t doing anything. It’s just flirting.”
“Uh-huh. I thought you don’t do flirting either, unless it gets you dicks.”
“You know me so well. But what can I do when the kid’s all over me but won’t go into the bedroom with me again?”
“Oh, so he’s the one rejecting you.”
“No one’s rejecting anyone. He just wanna flirt… and dry hump with touches, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh. And that is apparently doing nothing?”
“Yup. As far as I see it. If I’m not getting ass or dick or both, then it’s harmless and nothing.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I thought we established that 20 years ago when we were 8 years old.”
“Fuck you.”
“I said, ‘No thank you!’”
“Gosh, you are so fucking arrogant sometimes.”
“Sometimes? That’s sweet of you, Hon.”
“... Asshole.”
“Yeah?”
“... I hate you. You make my life so hard.”
“Yet we have been together since we’ve established that I’m an asshole.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“I hate you too. You never let me do what I want.”
“Dicks and asses?”
“That’s right.”
“Sex and drugs and alcohol?”
“Damn right!”
“Night stand and exes?”
“Yup!”
“What are you talking about? I’ve never stopped you from ever doing any of them! In fact you do all of them anyway.”
“But you’re implications have always stop me short with hesitation.”
“Doesn’t matter, cause you still do them anyway.”
“True that.”
“Anyway, what I meant to say is that my husband thinks you’re a bad influence for someone like his brother - ”
“Bad influence? Dude should speak for himself. He’s the one kicking his brother from left to right with all of his rightfulness way in life!”
“AND! And he thinks his brother’s life will be ruin because of you - “
“Ruin! Are you kidding me?! He’s the one - “
“AND! And he thinks I should control you or kick you out of his life, since I seem to be the only one connecting you to this side of life.”
“Hold on! That asshole is putting you in the picture as well. What the fuck! Just because his brother found out that he likes dicks and asses as much as I do doesn’t mean he have the right to - “
“Momo!”
“... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… but that’s still not right. He have no right to say that to you.”
“He didn’t say anything like you are assuming he did. He just said I should tell you this, and I’m just mad because he could have told you himself.”
“Whatever. Scary-ass.”
“He is. He’s scared that you’ll take me away though I told him countless times that you are completely fascinated by dicks and asses. And now, he’s scared you’ll take his brother away from the blue-collar life that they both have grown up to and know.”
“It’s his brother’s life, why is he intruding anyway?”
“They only have each other, you know that, since their parents… listen, Momo, please…”
“Look, I’m not doing anything, ok? He should tell his precious little brother that because he’s the one all over me and everything.”
“Ok, I will tell him that then.”
“... Why did you even marry that sucker?”
“Cause he’s a sucker. Very good one at it too.”
“Eww!”
“You are hilarious! You can’t shut up about sex, yet the mention of traditional sex gross you out.”
“There’s nothing traditional about it!”
“Oh, please. I know you have experiences in that field as well, though you mainly prefer dicks and asses.”
“Cause they are the best!”
“You know, if it weren’t for a vagina, you're ass wouldn’t be here.”
“That’s the first and last time I will ever touch a vagina.”
“You’re an asshole for stating something like that. It’s wrong and rude!”
“Why thank you, m’lady.”
“Asshole.”
“Talking about being rude, it’s ‘you’re welcome!’”
“Fuck - “
“No thank you! I swear, just a couple seconds ago I lavished on about how much I disliked vaginas!”
“Sometimes…”
“I know, I know. I am so arrogant sometimes.”
“...”
“...”
“But Momo?”
“Yeah?”
“Why can’t you just straight out reject him?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because he’s my husband’s brother.”
“So? I’m not going to reject a handsome and beautiful boy because his brother doesn’t think he should keep drinking the tea he tasted. If he’s going to give me his ass and dick for the heck of it, who am I to reject that?”
“Momo…”
“I already told you. We aren’t fucking. It’s just flirting with dry humping and a lot of touches.”
“Gosh, gays these days.”
“Actually, there’s not a lot of gays like me these days, Hon.”
“Whatever. If that’s it then just don’t start going around making things more complicated than it is.”
“If his overly-protective brother would shut his mouth first.”
“My husband, you mean.”
“Whatever. That jerk should shut his mouth first before I thrust something else in it.”
“I thought you weren’t into him.”
“Whoever said it was gonna be my dick? For all you know, I could have shoved down his throat a big fat carrot!”
“Ah, humor me, my old friend! He isn’t saying anything.”
“Oh yeah? Going around telling head companies that Momo is a slut is good advertisement, but I haven’t employ him for it, so he should shut his damn mouth.”
“He’s - “
“Don’t even defend him, I heard him myself. I was at Seal’s Inc. and he was talking to one of his little power friend about me sleeping with all his friends and now targeting his precious little brother.”
“I’m sure he’s just talking to - “
“I said, don’t defend him! He has no right to say anything to anyone anyway.”
“... I’ll talk to him about it then.”
“Good. And don’t forget to mention the threat as well.”
“Ah, Momo! But what the heck were you doing there anyway?”
“Though I’m a slut, I still have a life, Hon.”
“Ok, ok.”
“Also, circling back to your initial question, ask his precious little brother to stop being all over me, I am not good at holding back. He will regret it.”
“...”
“What?”
“Do you all men think that I am a messenger?! To hell with you all! Go tell him yourself, asshole.”
“Aiight! Damn, calm down.”
“Says the one who just went all defensive because his overly-protective brother disapprove of yours and his actions.”
“I was not defensive!”
“Yeah, yeah. Self-proclaimed slut!”
“Hey! I'm proud of that! And I was not being defensive. I just don’t like it when others try to stop someone from being who they are. It’s wrong and stupid. They have the right to be whoever they want to be. It’s none of anyone’s business to tell what they should be.”
“Last time I checked, that’s called being defensive.”
“Whatever.”
“But I’m glad. You are right.”
“Yeah.”
“...”
“What?”
“Are you sure it’s just fucking?”
“What the fuck are you trying to imply now?”
“No. Nothing. It's nothing.”
“Seriously. Get off my dick business.”
“Alright. You got it. I’m off.”
“Good.”