³⁵ Doubt between Fears

The lady behind those countless poems and essays is someone who hides in her papers knowing that her pen will leak her secrets. She prevents intruders to pass within her as she has known herself very much. She knows that she is tough at the cover but really vulnerable inside her self-created shield. 

She has an unorthodox outlook with love. She takes love as a poison which ruins the powerful strength of mind. She overviews it as a catalyst that prevents the mind to be more functional and logical. Love tends to showcase that imagination is a reality; that reality is imagination. For her, these ideas are absurd and foolish.

She doesn’t believe at crazy things. She’s dying to see how people waste their time in senseless things. She thinks that having fun is time-wasting; mundane is better.

She can recognize how words rhyme but she can’t understand how people tend to like each other like magnets. She hates the idea that opposite attracts. As she walks in the streets, she always think about how she is. She realizes that she is walking under the vast starry night; in the rough pavement with a head down, completely helpless. 

Are they capable of loving her when fears consume her last piece of courage? What if her pen runs out of ink, can she still write her words of pain? What if she runs out of paper, will someone offer her a sheet to replace her loss? Maybe if her hands are tired of pushing letters on her keyboard, she will stop; but she knows that words will continue buzzing into her head making her sleepless. It won’t stop until it comes out.

The woman behind those essays and poems; lonely and emotional, creepy and heart melting, unorthodox and sad is just here. She’s waiting behind for you to notice her. For you to give importance to what she is about to write. She is right there, at the door of your heart.