Live in the moment, whilst aspiring for what you want in the future. Meanwhile, if there is a beautiful girl by your side, why don't you hold her hand, gaze into the candlelight with her, and allow her to consume you? She loves you, and these moments won't last forever. Be who you are, and don't be so consumed by dysfunctional emotions.
Just let yourself flow with the current, and swim with the tide. If you can't pinpoint what is bothering you, then don't deflect the blame onto people who are innocent. Be honest to yourself, even for one moment.