A best friend is a treasure. A best friend is a sister. A best friend is precious. A best friend gives you plenty of memories. A best friend is supposed to be by your side always. But what I'm feeling right now is different from what you can describe a very best friend. It's some kind of confusion like: "Am I going to get mad of you?", "Should I support you?", "Is this still you?". I don't know. I really don't know if I still know you the way I used to.
A hundred times I thought about having a good friend. That I want someone I can relate to. And guess what? I met you on accident. You're too intimidating, I thought. But we got along with each other eventually. So finally we became close friends. You were the first one I got than the rest of our BFFs. We were totally cool friends who explore the school grounds, laughing those nonsense jokes, singing our favorite song, and staring at each other for a moment and guessing what each other has on our mind.
So after awhile, another friend joined us, her name is Rose. She's kind and a very thoughtful friend. It was a blissful moment knowing that I have friends who understand and support me. But not long enough she went far away to be with her family and that left us both. We were separated for a year because your class was different from mine. So when another year came and we get to be together again, I was so happy. Finally, I will not be lonely again. But you disappointed me. Everything just...changed. I don't know how and why. I just see you hanging out with someone challenging unlike me, the type of a person who loves to prank, who's very smart, who's some sort of introverted but still very lovable to everyone. Then here I am feeling damage and betrayed like the feeling when you say "Hi" to someone then he/she was like "Hi", then nothing! That's it, no talking. We were supposed to be side by side always. We were supposed to buy foods together, eat together, and everything that the best friends should be doing. I know it's selfish of me to think that way but what I saw in you was like watching a window glass being wipe off clear from the dust. It's like the memories we have were just beginning to fade..or was erased a long time ago when I wasn't there. Everything was gone!
I remember everything, how you left with her without looking back at me, every glance you make with her and seeing each other's idea through easily, every time you laugh together because of some stupid idea. And every torture day always makes me wanna cry. I still remember how I would go to you so that I can still feel the presence of our friendship, how I want to be together with you and talk to you casually. But everything was just a dull moment when the two of you would talk and somehow I was ignored or forgotten. I feel lost, I feel like I don't belong. It's so hard to catch up with you.
I know we don't have any misunderstandings. I almost gave up. Maybe there's something wrong about me. Am I boring? Maybe I was horrible. But I think I need to wake up from this stupid "self-pity problem" because it sucks. Then I realized you're the problem. I realized that whoever's beside you always change you like you "rebooted" your personality and "updating" yourself so that you can go with the flow and forget the past. I know you are that person. And I hate you for that.
You're not the type of a person who got new people around you but you're still you. You're the opposite of it. You get so confused easily. And that really hurts me the most. You change easily, and along with that, you get to lose your best friend in the process.