THE FENCE AND THE SAPLING
Ritu Siddharth
“SWARNA”,where’re you? …Come have your lunch”, called Pankajam, an old lady about 50 yrs.“ Yes Pankajamma,coming ”
, 3 yr old Swarna shouted back from the empty space in front of her house where she was playing with her mates. The little girl washed her hands and legs in the bathroom and joined her grandma .Pankajam served rice, dal and spinach. Swarna mixed rice and dal with her tiny fingers and watched the rice grains fly over her fingers, amused. “No dear , you must not play with annam(rice ); it’s ummachi(God)Annapoorni”. “ Ok, Pankajamma”, she obeyed. The neighbors called the old lady ‘Pankajamma’, so the youngster followed suit. Pankajam had trained the child to take care of her needs herself ..in case she was invalidated or died ,she would not be a burden to the relatives or the orphanage that may adopt her.
Swarna’s father worked in the army; Sakshi, Pankajam’s daughter, and Mukesh liked each other, said to each other, “I can’t live without you, let’s get married”; and they did. Mukesh moved into Pankajam’s residence. She was a widow drawing her husband’s pension. She fed them and had to dole out money whenever Mukesh demanded. One day she told him, “You can seek a job, now your married and are going to be a father”. That was it. Two months later he joined the army, and had kept away since .
Mukesh returned 1 yr later. He took the baby girl in his arms, kissed her on the forehead and both cheeks, place her in the cradle near the mother. “Ok, I’m leaving, that’s it. You’ll get monthly money for your food and clothing…don’t expect anything more from me……., you understand?” he nodded as he spoke. Sakshi understood but could not argue.
That was the last they saw of him. Two years later they came to know he had married in the next village.
The baby girl was 2 yrs now .They had named her Swarna. Money from her father had stopped long back.
Sakshi had died in sleep. Pankajam did not know whether she had consumed poison or was destined to die so young. She had very few relatives to attend the funeral. In the ritual ,with face smeared with turmeric and the large kumkum bindi swarna did not know it was her mamma lying there. Only the next day she did she miss her mamma.
“Mamma…mamma…”,the baby went into each room, kitchen , bathroom, backyard. “Where’s mamma”, Swarna asked Pankajam who had just sat down after preparing breakfast for Swarna, she herself had not eaten.
“She’s gone to ummachi”, said the granny.
“When’ll she come?”
“She’ll stay there”.
“Why?”Swarna asked holding her granny’s chin, “Can’t I see her?”almost in tears.
“No darling, she’ll come once a year to see you and me”, the old lady replied in low tone.
“Why did she go? Why didn’t she take me with her?”
“Ummachi called her one day …He said, ‘Come to my house; I need you to sweep my house, wash my clothes, cook for me, bring flowers for me…’,so she left.
A year passed. Swarna was 4 yrs old. They were sitting outside one full moon night.
Pankajamma..you said mamma’ll come to see me but I have never seen her ….when will she come?”
“” Ummachi gave her a cloak to wear when comes to see us. So we can’t see her ..but she can see us”.
“O”! exclaimed the girl in awe.
“Pankajamma, are the stars far away? mamma must be living there ,no? with ummachi?”
“Yes darling”, she agreed.
“Can I go there”.
“No ,it’s very far from here”.
“Can’t we go by train?”
“No dear”.
“Pankajamma,Pankajamma! Nandu said he has a daddy who buys him new dress ; Fatima said she has her abu ,but beats her ammi often, but takes her out to shops to choose fruits and sweets…Geeta said her father has flown to a far off place,so far away…and brings her toys that no one has here! Pankajamma ! where is my pappa..they said every one should have one….Where’s pappa? Has he also gone to ummachi to help mamma?”
“No,…he’s gone to another auntie’s house”.
“Can I go there?”
“No, ma . he has lot of work…he won’t have time to play with you”.
“Will he come to see me once a year?”
“No dear.”
“Why, Pankajamma?”
“He fights enemies; he has heavy guns; he fights with them. He has no time”.
“Can’t he come even once a year like mamma?”
“No darling”, her voice began to crack.
“Are you crying? Did the ant bite you?”
“Yes darling ,it has given lot of pain…”she said.
Swarna’s eyes widened and searched her granny’s leg for the ant and its bite mark.
“The ant’s gone dear”.
The baby watched her grandma for some time then fell asleep in her lap.
‘O my God, give me the strength to bring up this baby , give me long life and health till she grows old enough to care for herself ’,the grandma thought.
Swarna was 5yrs now. Pankajam got her admitted into a local primary school. The little girl had an extraordinary attention faculty that she could absorb anything with ease. Swarna would recite the rhymes she learnt and talk about the new games she learnt in school. Pankajam was proud when she went to see her grand daughter receive a token for her good recitation. The girl’s teacher called her to say the girl could sing well also. Pankajam beamed. She must give the girl a good education and bring her up well, she thought.
One day, Swarna delivered a few bad words she had picked up from her classmates, feeling they sounded good and effective.
“Don’t use those words ,they’re bad”, warned Panjakajam, but Swarna continued to use them.
“I told you not to use those words…they’re not good ,I told you”,said Pankajam in loud voice and slapped the little girl. Swarna was shocked ,she had not expected this ambush..tears appeared spontaneously under the impact of the slap. She held her cheek and ran away.
It was beginning to darken…Swarna was nowhere to be seen. Alarmed Pankajam called for her in the streets. Tired she returned to her house to swtch on the lights. To her relief Swarna was seen sitting crouched on a low stool in the corner of the pooja room. “O my Swarnu darling ! You’re here and I was searching for you outside in all the streets”, she exclaimed half in joy and half in tears.
“Don’t talk to me ! I’ll tell mamma when she comes to see me…I’ll tell her to take me away with her…I’ll do small work for ummachi, and recite rhymes to him”.
“Don’t ever say that darling”, she saw the finger marks on the child’s cheek; she embraced the child and began to cry.
“No! Don’t cry Pankajamma, I wont use those words again, no ,I wont”, the girl wiped the tears with her tiny hand.
“Forgive me my mother ,I’ll not beat you again”, she hugged her closer.
“I’m hungry,Pankajamma”,said Swarna ,her face distorted to see her granny still crying.
“Yes darling”, she said ,and carried the baby to the dining table.
Swarna was 19 yrs now; her grand ma 70 ,half crippled with arthritis. Swarna completed her school ,underwent teacher-traing course and fortunately employed early. She and her guardian shifted to the city into a new comfortable life.
Swarna understood her mamma had died; her father had abandoned them when she was just a babe…It was her grandma who had taken so much effort to raise her to what she was today. One day Swarna asked , “Don’t you get offended when I call you Pankajamma ?…I’ll stop calling you by your name”.
“No darling ,call me by my name ; I feel my tiny 2yrs old Swarnu close to me then”.
“OK ..PANKAJAMMA”, Swarna teased her aloud and both laughed together.
Pankajam was content . She had managed to raise her grand-daughter well. Now only her marriage remained to be completed. Swarna was good looking, had good manners,had a good job;Pankajam was confident she would get a good companion. Every night she went to bed relaxed, in peace ,thanking Almighty for his mercy…Swarna slept next to her grandma thanking Almighty that He had given her a guardian so good and adorable…!
Concluded