Forbidden

It hurts…

Each of the symptoms are happening once again…

Your hands shake…

Your head hurts…

Your vision blurs…

Only one thought occupies your mind and it is a dangerous one….

You know you shouldn’t even dare think of such a thing. You know it’s forbidden, yet you still can’t help but feel selfish.

You use the excuse that you’re only human and every now and then you can’t help but give in to such dangerous temptation.

“It’s wrong.” the same thing falls from the lips of the witnesses.

“It’s forbidden.” the voice in the back of your mind tells you but once again you choose to ignore it.

But then… why does it feel right?

How could something so wrong feel so right?

Before you can even rejoice in the happiness and the wholeness you feel just by staring…

Just by staring at her.

He comes along

Your hands begin to clench and unclench.

Your bottom lip begins to sting from the force of your bite.

Why?

Why does it have to be this way?

Why can’t it be you who brings the light in her eyes?

Why can’t it be you who her heart yearns for?

Why can’t she feel the longing you feel for her?

Why?

You yearn for permanence in such a temporary world.

Permanenence with her.

But how could you wish for such a thing that cannot be?

No matter how much you want it… it cannot and can never be.

As you see her walk past you with him, a beautiful smile gracing her lips…

You realize that the symptoms that occur when you see her?

Nothing could hurt as much as now…

Nothing could be more deafeaning and painful than…

The sound of your own heart breaking once more.