Free Falling

In the end, you ask yourself, is it worth the plunge you're taking?

Is it worth the hopes and dreams you're sacrificing?

Is he worth yourself?

You knew it wasn't going to be easy. You knew you were risking yourself again. You knew there is a huge possibility of jumping off the cliff and hurting yourself again and again. But then you decided to climb up that cliff, wasted a day and a year to reach the edge of it. You knew the adrenaline rush was going to be intoxicating. You knew the high that you will get in that brie moment that you start falling off was going to be one of the best experiences of your life. You knew right then and there that this might cost you something. Something more than you might be willing to give.

Yet, you still took the dive. You still put that right foot over the edge and pushed yourself forward. He didn't even have to do anything. All he had to do was watch as you fall deeper and deeper into the abyss. He stood there, he didn't hold your hand. You didn't know if it was going to kill you or if he might just be on the other side of it, waiting for your soul to disembark into the afterlife. You didn't know.

So now, while you're free-falling in there, you think back to all the promises he made you, the kind that you have heard from the others dozens of times over and over and over. You think back to all the sweet gestures, the effort, the gifts of love that you have also received from others over and over and over. And that makes you think, if the others who have done it before failed you, crushed your heart and your hopes and dreams, what makes him all that different?

And the question that remains now is not about him being worth the risk. The question now is how will he fail you? How will he hurt you this time?