Ever felt like wanting to disappear? Wouldn't that be so satisfying? Living a new life completely off the slate, no name, no past, no judgement and no expectations. I personally think that this idea is very fun. Like being in an actual video game where you can restart everything from scratch, and this time, you swear to yourself that you wouldn't fuck up as much as you already have in this life. Things will be better, things will work out, everything will go according to plan and finally...finally...you can find happiness.
This world is a funny place to live in. Not in a comical sort of way, but in an irritating one. No matter how much you plan ahead, things still crumble before your very eyes. No ammount of preparation can ever be enough. You can stack as many layers of concrete as you like, buy the best of materials possible, but reality will still find a way of getting at you. Honestly, most of the time, when you prepare so much, that is when it would hit you the most; in the worst way possible.
Every person knows this. They know how reality can play the meanest tricks on a person. Runners becoming limp, singers becoming mute, people born with disabilities, chances sucked in by the event horizon of life, turning everything back to nothingness until one is not sure anymore of anything about this life. Yet here we all are, still playing the same game because giving up halfway through would give us the shittiest of endings possible. Nobody ever won this game by not playing. That is why our hands our glued to the console of our own lives. We analyze every move, learn from past mistakes, and prepare ourselves for whatever lies ahead. We try as hard as we can, over and over again. We wait for the checkpoints where we can rest for a while, and when there is none available we trod onwards nevertheless.
There are a lot of us who would want to restart things again, we want to begin from scratch but that is just not possible. The comedy of life is not something which is happy, it is a tragedy that we try to face with smiling faces and enduring hearts. We all play the same game, so don't give up and throw in the towel. Let us all finish our own games and conquer our own demons. Keep on trying because whatever ending you'd have in the end, it is the one that surely gave you meaning.