I remember back then if someone would ask me what did I wish to become when I grew up, I would answer in a high tone, "somebody who can change the world."
Hah! Poor girl, she rode way too high on imagination. Owing to the age she was living in, life was more like a cherished bedtime story where you shoo your problems away by that magic wand. No evil lasts long, and you are always your hero. Nobody else but you are the most powerful. In a nutshell, she was living her fairytale. But life plays its part well. The 'destiny's child' now grew up to be the 'consequences's progeny'. Now she just wades across the places she dreamt of conquering. I wonder if she ever knew what 'growing up' really had lying in the wait for her. How eagerly the time had its hands holding a bucket filled to the brim with the watery reality, to be dislodged onto her.
She was just figuring out her identity, when it all broke loose. So maybe the transition from childhood to adulthood never took place. She got stuck somewhere in the mid. Somewhere, where she knew that she would have to take her own stand, at the same time, hoped for her magic wand to reappear and save her like it used to.
Moving onto the present, I have no idea what am I doing with my life. I struggle to change even my own ways. I've almost quit the hopeful dreaming. Burdened and grieved by don't know what, I just don't have any expectations of myself. But then I know, this can't be the final stage. I have to find a way out of this bad loop. How? Where? Who is going to jump into my rescue?
Guess I know her…
The girl that I was.
The one who had faith. Filled with the will to try. And her magic wand, her confidence.
I've been her. She still lives within me.
If only I can help her win over the present laid back self, I will find my way out.
I will find the estranged path that I was meant to travel by now.
Story