I watched her sit by the gate. So very still with her steadfast gaze on the street outside. Her back straight, her profile, even in sorrow, proud and regal. I watched her for almost an hour. And then I wept for her loss. And mine.
My love. Where are you? You’ve never left my side for so long. Our three, beautiful babies were confused and upset after you were taken away so suddenly, and they came to me with questions. What answers could I give them when I had none myself.
Come back my Love, so I can tell you what a wonderful life I’ve had with you.
Do you remember the day we met? I didn’t want to leave my mother and siblings, and so I watched from a distance as they picked, first one, then another. The two young girls looked like fun and they spoke about wanting a playmate for you. I hid deeper among the flowerpots. I didn’t know then how handsome and dashing you were!
And then, I don’t know what possessed me. I rushed out from my hiding place and grabbed the younger girl’s knapsack from right under her nose. And fled in the opposite direction trailing the knapsack behind me. I could hear her screams of laughter as she chased after me. Even back then, I was a fast runner. I think that’s what sealed my fate. And yours. They didn’t waste any more time with my siblings. I like being the winner, but you know that about me my Love.
I felt scared and lonely on the drive back to my new home. Would they feed me enough was my biggest concern. I was also worried about you, as you were bigger and older.
And then I saw you. You were magnificent. Gallant, strong, with a rich golden red coloring. And very, oh so very big! I barely came up to your shin. But looking up into your curious brown eyes then, I knew without a doubt that I was safe with you.
They thought you would hurt me out of jealousy, and kept us apart for two whole days. I cried for you, and when you heard me cry, you cried as well. Only a door separated us, but not for long. I could smell their fear when you finally got a chance to corner me. I still remember you asking me what manner of creature I was, and then you told me that I was beautiful but ate a lot. I just replied that you smelt funny!
Do you remember how for the next few days my fur was covered with your drool? I know you weren’t trying to eat me; that was just you being affectionate.
We were inseparable. You showed me where the frogs and lizards lived. I loved that game. You taught me how to play without hurting them.
Remember how you shared your favourite part of the garden with me; the Mint patch? We spent many blissful Thursdays harassing the gardener, and digging up everything he planted. We made a good team, you and I. You even potty trained me!
And then, at bedtime, I would curl up against your beating heart, and forget my mother and siblings. You were my family now, and I was home at last.
Do you know when I fell irrevocably and completely in love with you? We were playing a new game you taught me, and I was chasing the ball as fast as my stubby little legs would let me as it rolled towards a hole in the wall. I was smaller than the ball, and only you knew that below that hole was an open drain replete with goodness knows what horrors!
You shouted at me to stop, and when I didn’t you raced ahead of me and skidded just in the nick of time, blocking the hole with your large paw. I fell back, and as I sat there stunned, I realized that you were my Destiny, my other half. You completed me my Love, and I would rip apart any other woman that dared to compete for your attentions.
I willed myself to grow up soon, just so that I could start a family with you. We made so many beautiful babies together that people from across the Nation came to see them.
Do you remember how scared you were when I was in labour and you were locked outside the house? You must’ve thought that I was dying and I could hear you crying outside the window.
And as soon as the last one was born, I rushed out to give you the news. From across the window grille I told you we had nine beautiful healthy babies. Some looked like you, and some like me. But you were only relieved to see me alive. And then you waited outside the whole night in silence whilst I slept, exhausted from the delivery. Were you excited about being a father?
I never doubted that you would make a wonderful father to our children. You would watch over them whilst I rested, and although you were curious about so many wriggling squealing creatures, you were always gentle. Only one time did I hear you reprimand one of them very sternly for trying to crawl out of the barricade. I loved you for that.
You took a very active part in our children’s games, and you even introduced them to the gardener. All nine of them. Do you think he was delighted? He didn’t turn up to work for months after. Perhaps he was sick.
And you cried more than me when one by one, all our babies found loving homes. Under your tough exterior my Darling, you are just an old softie. Don’t think I didn’t see you smelling that vase of fresh flowers; breathing in its fragrance in rapturous joy. And don’t think I didn’t know how you would wait for the women of the house to dress for a party just so you could inhale the moisturizer on their limbs and the perfume that surrounded them.
Come home my Love. Today there is fried fish for lunch, your favourite food, and I’m saving my share for you.
I see you plain and clear! How can this be? My Darling, my Darling Spike, I’m so happy you’re back! Where have you been? You have much to tell me. You look so radiant and strong. And as handsome as when I first saw you.
Why are you staring at me my Love with a sad expression? Come in, come in, I must tell everyone!
What? All right, I’ll listen.
I saw her suddenly perk her ears, and her tail began to wag. And I recognized her half bark half whine. She did that when she was happy, and with someone she knew. She stood up and turned to look at me. And then she turned back to the gate, sat back down, gazing once more through the bars.
Brandy, my one and only Love. I would never leave without saying goodbye. Don’t be sad my Darling. I was very sick, and I fought it for as long as I could. Everyone did, including the doctors. I remember how strong and capable you always were. A perfectionist at everything you did. Even at hiding frogs in your mouth for hours before anyone noticed, and then releasing them unhurt and rather wet.
There! I’ve made you smile. I’m smiling too as I look at your beautiful face, and remember how we first met.
You were hardly bigger than my paw, but when I gazed into your almond shaped eyes, my heart skipped a beat. And my world was suddenly complete. You became my best friend, my playmate, and then my sweetheart.
Remember our first date by the Mint patch? We spoke of being faithful to each other forever. The memories we’ve created over the years are ‘Our Forever’. And the legacy we’ve left behind in all the babies we’ve had, is ‘Our Forever’.
Ah! The gardener! I laugh now as I think back to how we sat patiently and watched him repot all those plants. And the minute he turned his back, we dug them all up. How angry he was. And how satisfied we were. Partners in crime! And, although it was entirely your idea, I was your humble slave.
Darling, this time you cannot follow me like you always would when you were little. Our daughters need you. And so do the humans who share our lives. Their world has been sorrowed by my moving on, and they need you to help them.
I so want to be selfish and take you with me, but our children wouldn’t understand two losses.
I am near my Darling, and I’ll always watch over all who live in this house. You are still young and strong my Love, and have many more happy memories to create.
So, don’t pine for me, for I have not left you. You will feel me by your side when you sleep, just like always. Go now my Love. Go to her. She’s watching you, and there’s sorrow in her heart. She had but brief moments with me before I died, and she left without a goodbye. Go to her and let her know that all is okay.
“Brandy my Darling, what were you looking at for so long? Ha, ha, yes my Darling, stop licking me now, I know its time for biscuits!”
A tribute to my dog Spike, who passed away on the 1st of March 2009.