I have a friend. She is eaten away by depression. She has been fighting like a warrior ever since she knew that depression was starting to consume her mind and body.
I’ve known her for three years and I still don’t have any idea on how to help her. I don’t know. Seeing it personally hasn’t helped either. I have this feeling, whenever she’s having trouble fighting it off, that she doesn’t want me to help her. I can feel the wall between us. But this was not an issue for both of us. We’re actually quite close, like best friends, like sisters. I’ve been always treating her like one but why do I have the feeling that I can’t help her with this?
I tried helping her. I really did. But I don’t think it’s enough. How can I help her when I can’t even break the wall she built?
How?
How can I help you?
I’m dying to help you since day one. I’m your best friend. I’m your sister. Why can’t you just see that there are still people who are willing to help you? There are actually a lot of them.
Didn’t you saw my hands when I tried lifting you up when you were drowning in your own darkness? You were too scared. Too vulnerable. You should’ve gripped my hands. I was ready to lift you up. To help you.
I’m too frustrated whenever I watch you go insane. Just standing there. Having panic attacks. Looking scared. Trembling like an abandoned child.
Do you know how useless I felt?
How painful to see your best friend like that? And you can’t do anything?
I feel worthless.
Useless.
I just want to know how I can help you.
Please.