Before you:
I dream of the future with the one I "love".
I begin planning events and happenings before and after we get married.
I let him know whatever I feel and think.
I allow myself to be vulnerably open.
I stare at his face and admire all of him.
I tend to get thankful just because he loves me, too.
I hold on to his words and promises.
I pray that he would stay no matter what.
These are all the things I did when I told myself I love him. But "we" ended and then YOU came.
With you:
I can't imagine the future. But I learned to appreciate the present.
I don't even think of getting married to you. But I try to memorize scenarios that we face together.
I never let you know whatever is running in my mind. But when you ask me to, they flow like a river.
This also lets you see through me. As if I'm guardless. With the walls being torn apart. Just with your stare.When this happens,
I like to stare at your eyes, wondering if you really can see me; who I am.
When you said you'll stay, I didn't get thankful. I kept telling myself you'll soon get tired of dealing with me, someone like me. And that eventually, you'll leave, too. Just like him.
But you did. You stayed. Even when you no longer love me, you stayed true to your words.
That's when I realize, loving isn't going to be the same for all people. I may have loved him differently, but with you, no matter what I say, no matter how I try to deny it, no matter how many times you tell me I feel the same way, and no matter how many times I try to defend it, I do.
I do, love you.
But it's too late.