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How To Keep Being Alone

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1. Keep waking up in the middle of the night to write a poem

No matter how good or bad it is just to keep the midnight voice solemn

2. Fuck up so many times over, failure just becomes as big of a deal as a curtain unraised at 5 pm

I do not care anymore if the flowers just becomes as dying as I am

3. Catch a shit load of diseases

4. Get the doctors to examine and play with your feces

5. Hate yourself, hate this body they always find something wrong about

These trembling knees and sweaty hands they always doubt

Hate these organs that keeps on failing

These desire to self-destruct and be ruined beyond healing

6. Make your family believe you will never go far enough by the times you let them down

Convince them that your dreams are just paper cranes that can never fly away from this paper town

7. Get your heart broken

Relish on the warmth of being with someone else that will make you realize that you've been alone all this time

Give in to this manifestation they call "love" that always seemed profound and sublime

Only  just to be left, in solitude, in destruction, in pain

Yet with this endless pursuit of finding love again 

8. Get diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder

Absorb their stares as you organize your meal by color

Or when you can't read until you sort the bookshelf in alphabetical order

Step on every crack on the sidewalk 

Blabber some deep nonsense just to convince them that you talk

That you speak up, that you say what's on your mind 

When mental illness is an illusion people can  never see, or perceive, or find

9. There will come a time when solitude that was once a labyrinth you can never escape 

Or the darkness that is everywhere and changes shape

Turns into a calm silence in the middle of a storm

It is not always a prison you can't get out of, it is a dorm

No one dares to come in

It is a cliff no one pushes you into but no one also pulls you out of

You will see a doorway in knives, and razors, and opened cans

You will find escape in ropes, on rooftops, and into the barrel of guns

10. But you will never find the courage to pull the trigger or do the first cut

Instead, you will find the truth

That "this" is all entirely your fault

The insomnia, the sickness 

The hatred, the mental illness

Your family, friends, the girl you used to love will at least once be there with you

But you will always, ALWAYS feel alone

Because of all reasons for leaving, there is nothing you haven't shown

1. Write this poem in the middle of the night 

Prove to them that you will never need a light

Draw your scars like the Sistine Chapel of your ceiling 

Paint your warcries on the walls of a building

Make them find inspiration in this hopelessness

Make them find courage from this cowardice

Make them see, and make them touch

Make them feel your heart in their clutch

Make them find God from this blasphemy 

Make them see faith from this uncertainty 

So let them, 

Let them see a treasure in your chest despite the coldness of your eyes

Let them worship in your temples despite the hard knots of your thighs

Let them feel, and let them catch

Let them figure the value of such

Because there will be a time

When your name will be engraved in statues and stones

When they will find motivation from the surrender you have shown

By then, you will see your face no longer felt unknown

Capture the view from the seat of your throne

You will see, that you are STILL alone

Tell yourself, "it doesn't matter anymore ". 


13 Launchers recommend this story
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launchora_imgAneeta Thomas
5 years ago
Deep❤
launchora_imgFaith Shanice
6 years ago
ouch
launchora_imgAstro Naught
6 years ago
Too freaking fast of a reader.
launchora_imgFaith Shanice
6 years ago
can read a thick hardbound book for 3 hours, really is the story about you
launchora_imgAstro Naught
6 years ago
Wow. That was quick.
launchora_imgAstro Naught
6 years ago
Probably. Maybe. Haha.
launchora_imgfake name
6 years ago
it's absolutely breathtaking.
launchora_imgAstro Naught
6 years ago
I'm so glad to be appreciated. Thank you.
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How To Keep Being Alone

298 Launches

Part of the Poetry Wars collection

Updated on December 08, 2017

Recommended By

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