I am hurt
Deeply hurt
But I know there are people who cares
Hurdled by their busy time
Caring peals off
Sometimes caring feels burden
Sometimes I feel I am a burden
Respond
A simple thing to do
A thing most of us cannot do
I am a stimuli
But responses were too slow
To even make a heart skip
To warm a heart
To make caring
A sincere thing.
Just let me go
—Alone
Like how I am supposed to be
I aged and aged
Day passes
And no one sits infront
So I pretended
To be full
Having big appetite on orange plates
Not carrying the world at my feet
Half way through
—Smiling
Even though I am at its very peak.
Don't ask me why I don't get along with people
Sea of people swarming inside a room because they wouldn't care anyway
When things gets sloppy
And the smiles were erased from their faces
Its hard to make friends.
I sometimes googled how do I make friends
Silly thing
But really even my parents
I think they are strange too
They keep getting stranger and stranger everyday
Is it because their hearts are far too?
Down to my four old friends
To my cousins
To my aunts
To my uncles
And to my grannys.
Forgive me for I am a burden
Forgive me for I am a burden when I am hurt
Forgive me for wasting your time
I am sorry
You are hurt by someone who is hurt too
Wounded and scarred for life
Why did you care in the first place anyway?
Maybe its meant this way
Perhaps its just ordinary to move the opposite way when one ball collides with many.
In a pool of people
That I engaged into
Maybe I am not meant to stay
Maybe rubbing too much alcohol makes people leave
Like trying to strike
But too much power break the odds to win
The same as thinking a simple white ball could match those with colors
As if it will blend in
As if it will become colorful too
That leaves them no choice but to stay away
Like two balls colliding
Moving away from a stranger
Moving away from the collision
Moving away from the ache
Maybe it just means that I should just be alone
Maybe I'll find self - contentment.
Maybe someday.