It's raining outside right now and all I can think about is how blank this page is,it never seemed this way before. Maybe because I've never noticed it, whenever I wanted to write I wrote something but I never paid attention to the paper and how beautiful it looked in white. I love the rain people might think that the sun represents the beauty of life and that sunshine means happiness, since that's what I've noticed from all the songs that hear and from what most people say-Give me the sunshine- Well for me I love it when it rains I love the rain I love hearing the sound of the rain drops I love having drops of water refresh my hands and my head ,I just love everything about winter. I took a brief time earlier to think about how my life is like these days,well it's a mess and I don't know how and when it turned out like this,but what I'm sure of is that I am not allowed to complain about it,because somewhere someone is having a harder time. I can't put myself in anyone's shoes if I could believe me I would, I'd chose Bill Gates or Yoo Jae Suk but I can't. Back to reality, life can be difficult it might seem like we have a choice but somehow we don't, I choose to go on different roads every day because I like to see people's faces I love watching their expressions sometimes I try to guess what they're thinking and throught their eyes I try to immagine how their lives are like. Maybe I've always gessed wrong but I believe that the look that people have when they feel like no one is watching is the one that describes what they truly are and what they really feel. I've always tried to look good to people not for what it concers appearence since that'll never happen but I've tried acting cute,nice,bad,mistyrious...But I noticed that they never liked me in any of these cases,so I tried to find myself, what am I? I figured that I don't even know myself, I always copy what people do and those things that I copied became who I am now so I lost my real self I can't even remember the last time I've acted like ME. Anyways, life is too short to be resumed on a page or a book, we all seek the same thing but we don't express it in the same way. We are all lost creatures that don't know why they want omething, you might think that you want that job because it's your dream it's what you like it's what youadmire.But why do you like that job?It's because someone made you like it, or because you think people will love you after you get that job, or because you'll get a good sallary...It's always something that has to do with living.Life is what keeps us going although we all know that we'll die one day we keep pushing ourselves into doing things that are necessary to live. That is what humanity is all about, we can't immagine it in any other way since that's what we know it's a fact that no one can change. We don't choose who to meet or our family these are things we just accept and live with. I found that me having no friends is something I did to myself I have high standards and just like that if someone is laking in just a little something he's out. Nobody is perfect and I am absolutly not perfect not even close to good and those that I judge are better persons than I am it's just that if I like someone they usualy don't like me back, the avoid me so that's why I'm always alone. I wish I could have a conversation with a child that has no worries and thinks about nothing. I want to ask him how does it feel to think about nothing, how does it feel to sleep at ease because these are things I can't recall. I've never walked down the streat and thought about nothing else but that road I'm walking through. I want to be able to have a simple trip where I enjoy nature for what it is, to just now what emptiying your haid from worries feels like. I wish I could do that. It's just that these days nothing works for me even if I try. It's like there is curse on me. On wednesday we had an English test, I helped my clas mates with their test and gave them the answers to a lot of questions I really gave them the right answers and at the end I figured why not change my answers because I wasn't sure so I told them the right answers that I wrote myself but at the end I was still unsure about some things that I wrote so I decided to change my answers. At the end when the teacher collected the copies I asked her about the answers, and then, well you can tell what happened...I feel so unlucky,it's like I'm deffinition of unluckiness if that even exists. My head is full of thoughts that I don't want it's full of thaings that just need to get out but refuse to. I don't know how to feel free on my own. I want to enjoy life, I want to have friends and enjoy time with my family, I really want to be remembered. Remembered as a good person.
Story
I can hear the rain drops
It's raining outside right now and all I can think about is how blank this page is,it never seemed this way before. Maybe because I've never noticed it, whenever I wanted to write I wrote something but I never paid attention to the paper and how beautiful it looked in white. I love the rain people might think that the sun represents the beauty of life and that sunshine means happiness, since that's what I've noticed from all the songs that hear and from what most people say-Give me the sunshine- Well for me I love it when it rains I love the rain I love hearing the sound of the rain drops I love having drops of water refresh my hands and my head ,I just love everything about winter. I took a brief time earlier to think about how my life is like these days,well it's a mess and I don't know how and when it turned out like this,but what I'm sure of is that I am not allowed to complain about it,because somewhere someone is having a harder time. I can't put myself in anyone's shoes if I could believe me I would, I'd chose Bill Gates or Yoo Jae Suk but I can't. Back to reality, life can be difficult it might seem like we have a choice but somehow we don't, I choose to go on different roads every day because I like to see people's faces I love watching their expressions sometimes I try to guess what they're thinking and throught their eyes I try to immagine how their lives are like. Maybe I've always gessed wrong but I believe that the look that people have when they feel like no one is watching is the one that describes what they truly are and what they really feel. I've always tried to look good to people not for what it concers appearence since that'll never happen but I've tried acting cute,nice,bad,mistyrious...But I noticed that they never liked me in any of these cases,so I tried to find myself, what am I? I figured that I don't even know myself, I always copy what people do and those things that I copied became who I am now so I lost my real self I can't even remember the last time I've acted like ME. Anyways, life is too short to be resumed on a page or a book, we all seek the same thing but we don't express it in the same way. We are all lost creatures that don't know why they want omething, you might think that you want that job because it's your dream it's what you like it's what youadmire.But why do you like that job?It's because someone made you like it, or because you think people will love you after you get that job, or because you'll get a good sallary...It's always something that has to do with living.Life is what keeps us going although we all know that we'll die one day we keep pushing ourselves into doing things that are necessary to live. That is what humanity is all about, we can't immagine it in any other way since that's what we know it's a fact that no one can change. We don't choose who to meet or our family these are things we just accept and live with. I found that me having no friends is something I did to myself I have high standards and just like that if someone is laking in just a little something he's out. Nobody is perfect and I am absolutly not perfect not even close to good and those that I judge are better persons than I am it's just that if I like someone they usualy don't like me back, the avoid me so that's why I'm always alone. I wish I could have a conversation with a child that has no worries and thinks about nothing. I want to ask him how does it feel to think about nothing, how does it feel to sleep at ease because these are things I can't recall. I've never walked down the streat and thought about nothing else but that road I'm walking through. I want to be able to have a simple trip where I enjoy nature for what it is, to just now what emptiying your haid from worries feels like. I wish I could do that. It's just that these days nothing works for me even if I try. It's like there is curse on me. On wednesday we had an English test, I helped my clas mates with their test and gave them the answers to a lot of questions I really gave them the right answers and at the end I figured why not change my answers because I wasn't sure so I told them the right answers that I wrote myself but at the end I was still unsure about some things that I wrote so I decided to change my answers. At the end when the teacher collected the copies I asked her about the answers, and then, well you can tell what happened...I feel so unlucky,it's like I'm deffinition of unluckiness if that even exists. My head is full of thoughts that I don't want it's full of thaings that just need to get out but refuse to. I don't know how to feel free on my own. I want to enjoy life, I want to have friends and enjoy time with my family, I really want to be remembered. Remembered as a good person.