I live in Pain

Is intelligence get to be measured?
Do you think you understand that?
Even life we don't understand
But why you choose to be in pain?

I know you're doing good
But are you responding to me now?
Right now do you listen?
Hell! My friend I need you

I'm in trouble again
I need you to be at my side
You may think I'm selfish
And you may feel mad about it

But did you care for me?
Are you still thinking of me?
Do I really matter in your life?
Or you're just faking everything?

I choses to become honest all the time
I did not even know why?
I don't know why I still care so much to you
Not even taking care of myself

I know I must face this alone
But I want to get enlighten with your words
I'm not even an attention seeker here
I'm just being your friend here

What does real friends do?
Do they just chat you when they get bored?
When they know that they need you?
Did they do not feel something wrong?

I keep figuring out throughout my life
That If people do care for real
Why do they throw you so easily
Did they not feel hurt?

So you're the one who cares a lot
And it seems you're the one in trouble
You're the one who suffers for them
But you choose to still care,what the hell was that?

Why do people like that?
Why do they feel that way?
Why do they think that way?
Why do they respond that way?

I'm honestly sick of everything
Not even think if they're worthy to  be cared

Ps.
If someone feels the same cheer up! There's always struggles in our way.Think that others don't get real.What I want to say is you got to choose to be real in yourself.Don't think of what others critic just be you and keep going.This is a hell feeling.If you want to talk to me,I'm always here.Feel free to express your feeling.Be careful of those person around you.They may bring you down.So choose to get up.You still have many time to enjoy the meaning of life.