i still remember what love meant before i met you.. i still remember not giving it much thought.. i still remember the first time we met.. i still remember how i never thought you’d be the one.. i still remember how awkward it was when the only ones we knew in the room was each other at first.. i still remember how later it was how we hoped it would be..
i still remember when we decided to be friends.. i still remember how we used to be friends.. i still remember how we laughed.. i still remember how you used to ask me about everything.. i still remember how i used to call you when things went wrong in anyway.. i still remember how i stared at the ceiling thinking through the night.. i still remember when we went to study together.. i still remember how my feelings grew.. i still remember how we got closer & closer.. i still remember when i said my life revolves around you.. i still remember how we tried to keep it hidden.. i still remember the sneaking around so it wouldn’t show.. i still remember when our secret was out..
i still remember what our friends kept saying about it being a perfect match.. i still remember the days & the nights.. i still remember how i said i wouldn’t be jealous.. i still remember when you made me promise i’ll never make you sad.. i still remember the fights.. i still remember the doubts.. i still remember the many times we stayed up till dawn.. i still remember how we spent hours chatting.. i still remember how we said it would be..
i still remember the one time we doubted.. i still remember the two times we worried.. i still remember how we said we’d go through together.. i still remember how we did.. i still remember sharing the joy.. i still remember loving the hardships.. i still remember how you said we’d make it through.. i still remember the first time i said that i love you..
i still remember when i got the job.. i still remember that we said it was close.. i still remember my mom’s first impression about you ” she’s beautiful.. may Allah make her yours”.. i still remember when your mom said i was better than any of the other boys.. i still remember how you were afraid of your dad.. i still remember how i was too..
i still remember the first time i saw your tears.. i still remember the first time i came close to your eyes.. i still remember how i was your shield and armor.. i still remember how you were the jewel of my heart.. i still remember how you yelled at me when i broke my arm.. i still remember when we both got got sick.. i still remember me insisting you go to the doctor & how you said not before me.. i still remember when we stopped talking for 3 straight days only to keep talking after it for a week from dusk to dawn & again..
i still remember when we decided to go through with it.. i still remember our entire plans & thoughts.. i still remember when i came to your house.. i still remember how i lost my fear when i saw you that night.. i still remember you looking like angels.. i still remember the smiles & tears all around.. i still remember the first family visit & how we feared it’d be.. i still remember the rings in our hands.. i still remember the photos of you next to me..
i still remember how happy we were.. i still remember how it used to be.. i still remember our plans & our future, however imaginative & utopic it would be.. i still remember that time i got you roses.. i still remember singing out in the street.. i still remember the time when you kissed me on the cheek .. i still remember laughing for a day.. i still remember that last summer trip with our friends.. i still remember why i said i couldn’t go..
i still remember the phone call.. i still remember the disbelief & the numbness.. i still remember the car.. i still remember the hospital.. i still remember the hospital & the hall way.. i still remember the doctors & the nurses.. i still remember when i went in to see you.. i still remember you smiling.. i still remember what you made me promise.. i still remember the crying & the prayers.. i still remember every detail of that day..
i still remember all of that.. i still remember it so clear.. i still remember it as i stand here with tears on my face.. i still remember it as i stand in front of your grave.. i still remember my promises to you.. i still remember,, & i keep them everyday.. i still remember..