I Wonder

I wonder when did the knot of our marriage gave him the right to smother my desires? When did my "yes" to his proposal gave him the valour to crush my every "no"? WHEN?

I keep wondering

I keep pondering

While he rips me apart every night

And turns me into a sight

That even my own eyes don't dare to see

Clad in rape is the naked me.

My scars are the ballads he sings repeatedly everyday

Some are new, some are old

Some are fresh, some are cold

But equal is the pain

That flows vigorously adorning my every lane

Wait....He is coming.....Mom!!!Dad!!!!

His loud footsteps are making me insane

Impatient are the caskets in which I hide my rain

I try to get enclosed in the curtain's cape

But his claws form grip around my nape

He picks me up and plummets me down

Now I am going to be the sangfroid that will pacify his frown

His hands race around my waist

In the familiar eerie haste

The pills are forced in my mouth

I resist, I relent as always

And like always they sink down my throat

He removes his belt

That burst out the universe of my flesh

And left are its impressions

On my void black space

Perhaps the meter of his pleasures is dropping

As he now has come to the denouement

He takes the syringe

While my skin cells shrink in terror

Amidst those myraid holes

A new one takes birth

And I am drowned in the transient sleep

While my soul wails for an eternal one

Again I wonder when did the stamp of marriage made rape legal??

When did the shroud of marriage covered my self respect??

WHEN?