I dont know how to say this, I dont know how to open up, the past in its past tense is intentionally under lock up, emotions cloud judgment was what I was told when I grew up, to love is to destroy was what I was told so I gave up, I surrendered my hands where up.
So when you ask me to talk about me, I dont know how in reality, truth be told I aint charity, I cant say it but im not empty.
Told to talk less, a reasonable existence, so when I say something it actually made sense, I had to wait but it was painless, I was silent but not selfless, Because you see when you talk less, you listen more, it just make sense, than it did before.
personally, one of a kind, the truth is handy, though it is sad, so in the game I was played, to know the beat, memorized, it took sometime but it was saved.
I have scars in reality, there a part of me my identity, they show me what is quality, what can be fixed and what can't be, I say this with certainty and at last with clarity, because its I, its only me, that can take this till it breaks me.
Here they go, they take it all, but they don't know, how bad it is to lose control, it fix the life they already broke, because in the inside its under lock and can't break out its tough to crack.
The burns, the cuts, the slash, the pain, it was enough to drive insane, but I held on made it worth the gain, I enjoyed it even the vain.
The heat, the cold, the new, the old, the good, the bad, the fun, the sad, I made my self num to get ahead, I dimed my life to blend instead, I was alive but almost dead.
I went through it like an adult did, I didn't flinch, I blinked instead, I didn't cry, I held my ground, I didn't sigh, nor made a sound.
To live your life from the start, you need to break it all apart, you need to know your entire cast, there personalities and there part, the people know for respect, they'll stay a while, they won't depart, a part of the crew a part of the set.
The mission ends we part our ways, but he glimpse of friendship, it always stays, and we'll remember it, till the end of our days, and he memory of it it burns our eyes, sarcastically it blew our lies, it made us open our eyes and move away, to cut our ties.
Tough act, hard skin, the pain doesn't show, I never will scream, and they never will know, what I want, what I dream.
It burns and burns, the guilt the fire, to kill me, to destroy, was there desire, they gave me a side, with a conspire, so I wasn't alone, in this so called war, yeah, they cared like never before, if I believed them, i was a fool
You expect me to talk about my feelings, when I dont feel, you expect me to talk about my past, but it will kill, it was silent, but still, it was beyond dangerous, filled with thrill, and then you expect me to talk about how I feel??? Is this really real?
Mandatory, with out a choice, safe space, your free, thats how it goes, but who really knows where this info goes, I play hard ball, everybody knows, so I dont break down and be defenseless.
Tick tock, my times to end, ive said enough, I feel bared and scared, yes one of a kind, though it is sad, the lone survivor, the hero at the end, I've saved the rest but my soul is dead, and the devil is waiting, beneath the ground, to kill me, to torcher, but he is late, I've already received my punishment.
'The heat the cold
The new the old
The good the bad
The fun the sad
I made myself numb to get ahead
I dimmed my life to blend instead
I was alive but almost dead'