Key Reasons Why People Try To Hide Their Emotional Pain

People tend to deny or mask their feelings and often withdraw into a shell in response to deep emotional distress, due to which one may become unusually quiet. Such silence is not only an indicator of deep distress but also a defense mechanism aimed at creating a protective cloak to ward off others from inflicting more hurt and pain. Conversely, some individuals might respond to painful emotions by becoming fidgety, restless, or hyperactive to distract themselves from the upsetting feelings. They might either lose their appetite or become voracious eaters to numb their pain.

Unfortunately, many people frown upon the open display of emotions and instead condone maintaining a stiff upper lip. Not only have individuals learned to tolerate their own difficult feelings, but they also fail to determine such debilitating feelings in others. What they need is the modern therapeutic community model for being open and normal about their emotions. Some of the reasons that make people mask or conceal pain are:

• People have the notion that admitting to one’s pain would reveal his or her weakness and vulnerability to failure. Therefore, people prefer to go into victim mode rather than come clean with their feelings and emotions.

• People tend to rejoice aloud during joyous moments, but sad moments are cleverly masked. Those who have gone through the experience of sharing their sorrows only to be shamed or demeaned will vow never to share them again with others. Moreover, clichéd responses from well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning friends and family members are also not helpful.

• People are afraid to face the storm that their emotions would bring, so they prefer locking them up in their hearts instead of acknowledging them. They are afraid that they will be unable to handle the pain and hurt. People are naturally averse to discomfort inflicted by such suppressed emotions and therefore prefer running away from them. They prefer to seek the solace of denial.

• Driven by the pursuit of material success, people often start becoming numb to emotional pain and hurt. Money, fame, and perceived success may present the view that life is moving forward. Although these elements won’t heal the pain, they can mask it long enough to avoid stigmatization. As a result, such people often fail to address their challenges on time.

• People do not know how to address emotional pain and how to process it because generations have always believed in sweeping it under the carpet. People have witnessed their parents hiding their emotions by not talking about them. Moreover, most people avoid teaching their children the ways to face their emotions. This leads to the replication of the same attitude by children.

The willful suppression of emotions tends to interfere with the natural functioning of the brain and leads to mental illness. People with suppressed feelings suffer from exaggerated and irrational thoughts created by the continuous restraint of feelings. As a result, one may resort to alcohol and substance abuse and addiction for the alleviation of pain.