Layers

Social psychology is truly remarkable. There are so many aspects of everyday human interaction that we miss; the very aspects that tell you how much interest the person in front of you has in listening to your rambling, how much attention that person is giving you, etc. In my opinion, it's essential to gauge a person's interest in you before even attempting to indulge them in an intimate conversation. 

While the number of sub-fields in social psychology is practically insurmountable, one thing that everyone can relate to is the 'hierarchy' of friends we have. Let's be honest to ourselves and admit it up front - we're all hypocrites. I wished to extract this confession out from the reader herein itself because the next diagram will surely surprise you (or even offend you), but deep inside, you'll know it's true. Here goes:

How true is the diagram above? Did you feel a slight sting in your chest when you deciphered it completely? For the people who are a bit 'programming-oriented' like me, here's the perfect pseudo-code for you:

Sound relatable? Good.

We're always aspiring to be with people who seem out of our league. When these same people hurt us in some way (rejection, ignorance, etc.), your most instinctive reaction is to call up your 'friend-who-is-a-great-listener' and rant about it. The real question is - who are your real friends, then?

Think about it - you WANT to be friends with the people in the upper strata. There may be many reasons why you want to be a part of their circle - power, status, recognition, etc. Here's where things get interesting, however: if the people in the 'upper berth' reject you, you fall back to your 'safe bets' for comfort. However, if they do accept you, you forget your safe bets and replace them with your newly found friends. What about the fallback friends, then? "Meh, I'm sure they'll manage". Here's another representation of what I'm getting at:

So what can you do about this? Absolutely nothing. It's just the way we humans are programmed. If you lust for attention, status, power, etc., you'll always remain in this loop.

So what about those handful few who aren't the least bit interested in all of this? Sure, let's just label them as weird and put them in the lower category. Ironically enough, these people are the happiest. Since they don't bother to fall into the loop at all, they never get stuck in this never-ending cycle.

These people cherish the handful amount of friends they have, and most importantly, treat them with equal importance. There is no fallback mechanism for these people because such a time doesn't befall upon them.

If there's nothing we can do, what important message have we extracted? There is ONE way to break the loop - equal prioritization. Treat everyone equally, and you'll experience the same.

After all, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", right?