Letter to Juliet

For some reason, i wanted to write a letter to someone i secretly love. 

First off, her name's not Juliet, although Juliet is a pretty great name. I honestly don't know why I put Juliet on the title but for metaphorical argument's sake, i did. 

I don't know if you can all relate but I know we've all loved someone so dangerously that we'd do anything for them even though they won't do the same for us. Unrequited love, if I may say so. But if I were to write a letter to my Juliet, tell her all the things she made me feel and tell her how hopelessly in love I am with her, maybe she'd love me too. 

So my dear Juliet, 

I know you might not love me the way I want you too but hear me out. 

I've always wondered how would you feel if you knew i love you. I've thought about that every night, because as sappy and cheesy as it sounds, I always want to make sure you're my last thoughts before I sleep, hoping that maybe you're awake and thinking of me too.  That actually made me feel a little pathetic. I'm always afraid of a lot of things that I knew would hurt me, but sometimes I'm passionate about them because if I wasn't, I wouldn't fall in love with you. I knew you'd hurt me in some ways you wouldn't know about, like the way you danced with him and the way you smile at him in the way you've never done to me. It hurts me when he makes you happy in the ways I could've. But the thing is i know you're worth the pain.

I never told you how i feel because there's this possibility that you never felt the same. That maybe, I was the only one looking for meanings behind our stares. But goddamn it. I reckon that stares like the ones you give me has to mean something.

I wrote you a lot of poems and you probably won't get the chance to read them. You've inspired me to do a lot. You're my muse. I mean, your smile alone is the only thing I need to get through. The way you squeezed my hand when I'm nervous is enough to make my world feel a little less falling apart. 

When I see a puppy, I instantly think of you because I knew how much you love them. When I see pizza, I knew I should get you one because I know they're your favorite. I'd get the ones with pineapples of course, even though a lot of people hate it in their pizza. But that's just some silly quirks about you. And I admire you for that. I kinda see you in almost everything and it's scaring me because I know I'm so in love with someone who may or may not feel the same.

I could honestly list down a lot of things I love about you. Your raspy voice perhaps? Your messy bun? but god, you make it look so good. I love the way you look so effortlessly beautiful without even having to try. Your kind too, you always know what to say, and when you told me everything's going to be alright, i believed it you know? God, i love so many things about you and it's a shame you'll never hear it. Blame my coward mouth.

And sometimes I try to tell myself it's not your fault that you can't love me, because honestly, who would? I'm made of thousands of flaws. I got scars I'm not proud of. I'm broken, and I wouldn't want to ruin you with my imperfections. But I can't stop looking at you even though you won't look back. 

The sad thing is, you can treat me however you want because you know I'll always be there for you. It's kind of unfair, but this love has always been.

I mean, i try. A lot. And nothing changes. You still don't love me.

I don't regret loving you though, because somehow it crossed my mind that you're all I ever wanted. It actually hurts me how you're clueless about how much I care or how much I am willing to go through just to see you smile and love another who isn't me. Maybe our worlds weren't meant to collide. You were the whole galaxy but I was just a single speck in your existence.

I loved you more than I shouldn't but I don't mind.

But If i had a chance, my dear Juliet,  would you let me know?

an: thank you so much for letting me vent out through this letter, i truly appreciate your effort in even reading this :) i hope you support my other works too <3 ily 

p.s. read the sequel 'tale of someone who secretly loved' if you like :) it would mean the world to me. i hope you c