Some people say that love is one of the greatest thing in this world. But what if the world changes in time? Would love remain the same? Would love stick into one place where one can find it? Would love occur when it is needed the most? Would love stay still? Or perhaps, will love also change?
Just like how the world changes and evolves in time, is love constant? Wouldn’t it contradict the saying, “The only constant thing in this world is change”? Maybe, it does. Maybe, it doesn’t. No one can really tell, can we? Love is too unpredictable. It is truly alive. But how long will it live? How long will it last?
No doctor can even predict what love can be. People in the medical world will say, “You can never tell unless something happens. You can never predict until the surgery is done”. Yes, undeniably true. I cannot even disagree in their logic.
For other professionals, it means the same. The explanation may be vague, incomplete or even too technical, but the thought is the same. I might it is generic. No. It really is generic. Things like love are things that cannot be seen by the human eye. Invisible yet felt. No matter how many books define what love is or how love may turn out to be, you will always end up with a self-centered explanation. Your logic, your thought.
They said the heart is responsible for all of our emotions. They said our heart is the one controlling how we should feel. Some also say that it is the heart that tells us what love is and what would it be.
Now, I disagree.
The heart has nothing to do with it. We are putting so much pressure to our own heart as we blame it for regrets and pain. Sometimes, when we’re hurt, we used to tell our heart to stop. But imagine if it did stop. Would it change anything? Would it heal the pain? Perhaps, it can. It would take you literally forever to not feel any pain at all.
And not to beat is not to live. To wish for the heart to stop beating is to wish for ourselves to stop living.
Do you know where the real problem lies? In us. Here, inside us. We all have and take pride. When we feel happy, pride comes out and makes us stand out in the crowd. And when we feel pain, pride is still there. It is already accustomed to stand out.
However, when we feel pain, we feel shame. We don’t want to talk to anyone not because we prefer to be alone but because we are too ashamed of ourselves.
How come I made that mistake?
How come someone like me did such a stupid thing?
How did I ever make such a foolish decision?
Questions that remained unanswered. These questions create blocks. These blocks create burdens. And these burdens create walls. Walls that separate us from the world. The wall that lock us up in a cave we call our own. A locked-up soul inside a living body. We are too ashamed to show ourselves getting weaker to the world. We can’t bear to listen to their questions as much as we can’t bear to explain the answers.
Those lies that surround our heart. Those questions that the world is asking you. They are the lies and questions that you are perfectly aware of. But as we look up and dig into it even deeper, it frightens us, slowly and deep.
Even when we already know the answer, we tend to deny it to the people around us, to the world, and even to ourselves.
For we are too scared to know it. Too scared to admit it. Too scared to even find it. Too scared that we decide to just forget everything about it. We are too scared that we wish we could just bury all those nightmares of the past. In other words, in order for us to keep ourselves safe from the responsibility, we prefer to cut all strings that connect us to those, and escape from it.
That is pride.
Now there is pride but then there’s love.
When pride decides, love interferes and asks, “Are you doing the right thing? Aren’t you being selfish? Aren’t you going too far?”
When pride walks like everyone before him are trashes, love trips him and asks, “Why are you too proud and boastful? Are you even perfect?”
When pride insults the weak, love hits his head and asks, “Why do you love provoking and insulting those people you see small? Are you big enough to make sense? Didn’t you learn the word appreciation? Don’t you know that they are better than you in many more ways?”
When pride hurts the heart of someone special to him, love slaps him in the face then asks, “Why are you hurting someone important to you? Aren’t you afraid of losing that one lovely just because you love yourself that much? Don’t you know that by loving someone, you set yourself aside to make her happy? Don’t you know that keeping love means swallowing pride?”
Then love cries.
Love sobs.
Then, love hurts.
So pride thinks again and again, and again. Then, it decides.
Then pride subsides.
Pride left the heart to allow love feel at home. Then love allows the heart to rest. Love allows the emotions to relax. Then love allows the blood to flow regularly through the veins. And the veins find its way to enjoy every single day like a stream letting the water flow flawlessly.
Then, love invites pride. Pride bows to love and was grateful. Pride bows to the heart to apologize. And the heart feels warm. And the body feels healthy and great. And the person owning the body with a heart that welcomes pride because of love, finally smiles.
The person never blamed heart again for all the wrong decisions that she made throughout her life. As her days ended, she whispered to her heart, “Thank you for being the home of my sadness and bliss”. Then she whispered to love, “Thank you for being there when I was escaping from the pain. Thank you for teaching me how to face those sorrows. Thank you for the hearts you connected with mine. Thank you for staying behind”.
Love nods.
Love doesn’t have to say anything.
Love scolds but love understands.
Love hurts but love heals, then love teaches.
Love fades then love grows.
Love left but love came.
Love allows darkness for love itself is light.
Love dies but love lives.
Love imagines but love makes it real.
Love endures and love fulfills.
Love breaks but love connects.
Love is me.
Love is him.
Love is us.
Love is you.