Hey you. Yes, you. You may not know about me but I know a lot of things about you. Am I a stalker? Well, let's see, I've been to your profile far more than you'll ever know and I've always been careful not to draw attention to myself. Hold on, let me go back to how it started.
It was just like any other day inside the campus. I was on my way to class, noticing or not noticing the endless stream of students going back and forth, and then I saw you. You had that smile, the one that complimented your eyes and I thought, "She's pretty." You were having an animated conversation with a friend of yours and so it was easy for me to steal a glance at you and at that moment, I declared you as my muse.
Your name came easy, your beauty spread like wildfire and you became the talk of the whole campus. I knew I was being naive in thinking that I'd be the only one to notice you but it didn't stop me in trying to get to know you better. I wanted to catch a glimpse of who you are hence why I gathered enough courage to send you a friend request despite of the pounding in my chest. I assumed that the chances of you confirming my request was pretty low, since you probably get them all the time. So I was surprised the next day when a notification popped up that you and I were friends, connected as it were.
I would check your timeline every now and then, painting a picture in my mind of the girl who had become my muse. Rumors spread about you, you were just that famous. Most of them were good. I had expected something that would shatter my illusion of who you are. Perhaps I was trying to free myself from the burden of loving someone from a distance. Yes, I am unashamed to say that I fell in love with you at a distance. Everytime you'd pass by, I would freeze, unable to think about anything but you. I just wanted to get to know you, wanted to know if we could be friends. But I had to fall in line just like everybody else and the queue was filled with people I can never be.
Average is what I am and all I'll ever be and I knew that my chances of being with you was nonexistent. You're so far away from me and I'm just another nameless face trying to get over the fact that what I feel is just a fantasy. I thought that time would slowly help it fade away but everytime I saw you, it was just like the first time, and I could only shake my head in disbelief.
Then he came into your life and I considered him the luckiest man in the world for he held you in his arms. I was jealous, yet I wanted you to be happy and so I tried to forget about you despite knowing it was futile. Whenever I saw you together, it was like a slap to my face waking me into a reality where you aren't mine and I was just a boy trying to cope with my feelings. Acceptance came easy, perhaps it's because you were happy with him and that was enough. Between a nonexistent nobody and someone like him, it was no contest.
Then everything fell apart. I didn't know the whole story and I didn't give a damn about him, he could've died for all I care. All I know is that you've been crying lately. I waited and told myself that you were strong, that you'll pull yourself together and you did. You weren't the same girl after that but I like to think that you've grown and that was a comforting thought. All of these would inevitably lead me into having to accept the truth.
I just want you to know one thing. I love you, with everything that I am. Yes, I know it sounds stupid and that makes it even more stupid. I know it doesn't sound much and probably weighs next to nothing since we don't even know each other but I love you with all that I am. I don't think I'll get anywhere in writing this but I can always hope, just like what I've always done from the start.
Sincerely yours,
A Nobody