Mom loves my brother more

Mother....
The Living God,
A small I heard when I was kid,
A small kid asked God "who will protect or safe me when you busy in saving other person?",
God replied "That's the reason I created Mother, who never leave in any trouble".
Mother is living & loving God.
She is significant, always think about her kid first. Unconditionally love her kids. Whatever ever it takes she always protect her kid.

This is all true. I seen it. I feel it. I am witness to it. Mom love my brother so much that, she never let stop showing it.

I am last kid in family. I have elder brother & sister. Brother is first kid & he given them priceless Parenthood. First kid always be special to parents. Next comes my sister. My parents love daughter. They loved her & brought up her like no one. Girls always play special role in family. And I came,
They have experienced son love & daughter love there was nathing left to feel special with me. But both loved me & brought up like elders. All the way to childhood. I try to learn play like other kids. Some where I feel like I lost my childhood because of elders fight means my father brothers & all. Hardly I remember happy, laughing moment spent with family. There always fight one another day. It was joint family that days. Due to many issues in joint family we got sepreated.

Now we were 5 in family. Dad, Mom, brother, sister & me. I was addicted to joint dam environment. That was hard accept these sepreation to me. Tried a lot to get fix in small family. And I did it after many years. Till that we grown up to understand out world. Brother went out in search of job.

Now we left with 4 in home. Sister is second mother to me. She always been second mother to me rather than elder sister and that friends feeling between sister never build up. I want sister who can guide me, teach me or making fun things with me. But never such bounding build between us. She only order like mom. Rather than getting close to her, I kept her away from me. After little more year She got married & went out to start new life.
Now we left with 3 members in house. I have no one to fight with, laugh with, or do anything. I left out alone. Then I remembered my childhood, there is very rare good moment I spent with dad. So now I got all that time re-live my childhood with my dad. I will be always small kid to my parents, Whatever my age is that never matter. Hopefully & successful so good bounding build between me dad. We openly talk about some matter, discuss things, asks opinion on decision. That entirely relationship between me & dad was changed. We understand each other so good. What ever matter it is I am back bone to my dad. Because of me they walk fearless.

My memories with mom were so many in childhood. Of course every child talk openly without fear with their mother. I was also same. She take me whichever function she attends, to relatives home. I am like fevical to her. She loves me lot. But when brother went out for job & we were 4, her behaviour changed towards my sister. She wanted to teach her how to behave in-laws home after marriage. In these all matter she was getting hard with sister. I was not able to understand matter. Behaviour between us was going rough. We are unable to understand each other. This is also reason I kept my sister & mother away from me. After her Marriage she getting hard with me. That time I was matured enough to understand that level matter. Some where our miscommunication may be I can say communication gap was filling up. Gradually we were understanding each other. But all time get fail.

When it fails I tried make it up success I keep on trying things work out between me & mom. I teached her how to write, operating mobiles, making hairstyles, Parlour girl for her in home. Started talking about small matter, sharing opinion on matters. For few days we were like Friends. Sister try to be friend with mom. But possible worked with me. But problems always comes in between me & my love. And I always get failed in getting her love.

Her behaviour with me was get change when brother comes to home in vacation. & Also change when sister comes to home. That was making me feel weird. Whatever brother do or don't do that fine to mom. But same thing I do more than him, then also I am good enough to her. Always made me feel to son is first to her. He is top of all to her. I never loved by mom like she do with my brother.

I don't have any problem with brother, brother loves me to. I am his kid. But always supported & treated me like Friend. I am his lovely sister. He never differentiated between me & my sister. Sometimes I am angry on him because he is not looking after home, like not taking responsibility of home on his shoulder.
I am grown up women now. Go outside to work come back to home to share part of dad's responsibility. I am supportive system to home Financially, emotionally & physically. I expect brother support in financially. He is also married & father of son. But still I don't get mother love which I deserve. I always been left out.

Now I committed with loneliness, now I happy with myself. Self confident, daring, courgious, fearless and emotionaless. End up my passion & dream because of situation in home. I only wish to go out home & live alone. Joint Family, family love, mother love I always been thirsty of these 3 things. And I am never going to get it.

What other mothers do I don't know. But my mother love me but she loves her son more.